It’s wedding time! After three years of on again, off again courtship, Emily (Emily VanCamp) is ready to execute her master plan to frame Victoria Grayson (Madeleine Stowe) for murder. Naturally things don’t go quite according to plan.
Let’s bitch it out…Daniel (Josh Bowman)?! Really?!
Of all of the likely candidates, I can honestly say that I did not expect Daniel to be the one to pull the trigger on Emily during the honeymoon cruise to Nantucket. It’s been obvious that it wasn’t Victoria (Madeleine Stowe) for some time because come on. But Daniel? I figured a likelier suspect was Lydia (Amber Valletta) or Sara (Annabelle Stephenson) or maybe even Charlotte (Christa B. Allen).* After all, all three of them have more reason to dislike Emily than Daniel. Plus all three of them are boring turds who need something more exciting to do.
*Yes, I’m aware that I suggested all three might die in this episode last week, but I figured murder/suicide wasn’t out of the realm of the possible for any of the three. And hey – I was nearly right on one count
Ultimately Daniel as the shooter makes sense. Exhibit A: he has a terrible track record with nearly killing girlfriends (zing!).Exhibit B: he often finds himself holding firearms around mid-season finale time. Plus he really needs his magazine, which apparently only features the Grayson family, to do well so why not shoot your fiancé for added sales appeal?
In all seriousness, Daniel’s been circling the drain for most of S3. Ever since the writers artificially re-introduced his lemur eyed ex to add some unnecessary conflict to the wedding plans, the guy has found himself trapped in a bad situation. By reception time he’s clearly sauced and in no position to learn that lemur eyes tried to commit suicide (It’s probably too much to hope for that she was successful, isn’t it?). Add the shock about the fake baby and suddenly Daniel’s got a pretty good set of excuses to feel a bit homicidal towards the girl that’s strung him along for the last few years.
Emily’s shooting (which both opens and closes the hour) and subsequent disappearance at sea is easily the least interesting element of this mid-season finale. What’s much more exciting is that Revenge doesn’t chicken out about revealing her deception. Her connection to David Clarke isn’t completely on the table, but both Victoria and Daniel now know that she’s lied to them ever since her appearance in the Hamptons. This means that the show has crossed the point of no return: there’s no way Emily will be able to turn up and ingratiate herself with bon mots and dismissive eye rolls. This means that Revenge has effectively rebooted itself. Where Emily and the show goes now is anyone’s game. Thankfully we only have a few weeks to wait before we begin to get some answers…
- Alright, if you’ve watched the promo for the next new episode, you know SPOILERS that Emily apparently has amnesia. All I can say to that is “no.” No go on amnesia. Unless Emily is faking having amnesia as a way to get back in with the Graysons (which is still garbage), I’m going to have to insist that we don’t anywhere near amnesia. It’s such a gimmicky mess and suggests that the writers can’t think of any other way to get out of the narrative corner they’ve written themselves into END SPOILERS
- I’m glad that Patrick (Justin Hartley) is back, but the idea of him finding Nolan’s (Gabriel Mann) safe is not very interesting to me. I would almost prefer that he be more like Margaux (Karine Vanasse) and simply remain a love interest, not a REVENGE-r
- Lydia’s return has proven to be really disappointing. Ever since she’s turned up all she’s done is hump Conrad (Henry Czerny) and try on different outfits. Her one trick pony REVENGE scheme is all tied up in that damn New Year’s picture and she’s so short sighted that all she wants is her old house back? Bitch, Emily was gonna move out of that place when she and Daniel got hitched anyways. Aim higher with your blackmail plots, dumba*s
- I don’t think the writers really know what to with Jack (Nick Wechsler) this season. Every time there’s a scene at the Stowaway it feels like we’re cutting away from the action to see boring people make drinks. I will say, however, that I like it when he yells at Emily about all of the ways she’s ruined his life. With both Nolan and Aiden (Barry Sloane) in her corner, Jack is now the only person telling Emily she’s selfish and a bit of a life ruiner
- Charlotte’s black, cut-out dress = a wedding no-no. Is this an acceptable thing now? (See also: Wendy on Lifetime‘s guilty-pleasure, Witches Of East End)
- Finally, watching Victoria eyeroll her way through Emily’s wedding video introduction is a pretty special way to close out another year of Revenge coverage (I also enjoyed her refusal to stand up following the wedding ceremony). If someone wants to make me a GIF collection of eyerolls from the show, that would definitely make my xmas
Revenge has now finished airing new episodes for 2013. It will return Sunday, January 5 at 9pm EST on ABC. See you in the new year!