Spoilers for episode ten… [Read more…]
Welcome to the Friday The 13th The Series rewatch. Each day throughout October, we’ll watch one episode of the seminal 1987 television series and tackle the highs, the lows and Micki’s hair (of course). Now step into Curious Goods and peruse our cursed antiques, won’t you?
S01E022: “The Pirate’s Promise”
Wikipedia Plot Summary: Ryan (John D. LeMay) and Micki (Louise Robey) visit a small seaside town which is haunted by the ghost of a murderous, long-dead pirate
Cursed Antique of the Week: A foghorn that summons the murderous spirit of a pirate that trades his treasure for the lives of the descendants of his mutinous crew
Setting: Whaler’s Point, a town founded by pirates who became whalers
Best Death: None of them are particularly exciting, so I guess we’ll go with Fenton (Smith)’s hook to the chest
Quirkiest Add-On: Fenton and Dewey (Thomas Hauff) are revealed to be secret brothers, which is some straight up soap opera shit
Character Bits: This is the first Jack (Chris Wiggins)-free episode since “Scarecrow”
Corny Finish Line: There is no spoken dialogue; just the sound of the foghorn laid out over the image of a full pirate ship on a sea of fog, which is pretty on-the-nose
80s Fashion Closet: Ryan wears a thematically appropriate anchor sweater that is actually kind of fashionable. Less fashionable: Micki’s giant hoop earrings and corset at the end of the episode
Kissing Cousins Incest Watch: Do you think that when the cousins make their way upstairs at episode’s end, they’re going to…Oh never mind
Ugh – nothing. This episode is a total snore. I mean, at least neither Micki or Ryan winds up being the missing ancestor so we don’t have to deal with them being in any real danger.
Ok, and Angus McBride’s make-up/mask is kinda fun, albeit in a very “dollar store Halloween” kinda way.
What Doesn’t Work…
If the last episode used all of the collective tropes to deliver one of the series’ best instalments, then this one exemplifies all of its weaknesses. There’s simply nothing interesting happening here. The villain is identified at the very start, a bunch of randoms we have no interest or investment in are murdered and the explanation for what is happening is evident from very early on (and then frequently repeated ad nauseum). This means that the majority of the episode is spent simply watching Ryan and Micki (and to a lesser extent Dewey) stumble their way through a dull, predictable investigation. We’re talking lots of books. Like lots and lots and LOTS of books.
It doesn’t help that there is no way not to compare this episode to the film that so clearly inspired it: John Carpenter’s The Fog. And while that film has its own share of narrative issues, it at least has a great score, great special effects and a host of engaging actors to prop it up (Adrienne Barbeau’s radio DJ is too sultry for words). In comparison, this episode has a bunch of white dudes and a really fake looking cave for Ryan to stumble into.
Stream of Consciousness Musings
See you back here tomorrow for Friday The 13th The Series episode 23: “Badge of Honor”