‘It’s Good To Be Kink’ gives us a great guest star, a horrible wig, and lots of new sexual positions to google.
Let’s bitch it out….
From the cold open between Leo (Paul Adelstein) and Abby (Darby Stanchfield), we know he did something bad, and whatever it is, Abby thinks it’s “DISGUSTING!”
Turns out, Leo is part of a manuscript being shopped around in which a 20-something government worker Sue (Dunham) tells all about her kinky exploits with high-profile Washington men. Abby runs to Liv (Kerry Washington) to shut this thing down, because that’s the nature of the beast of being a woman in Washington. You are who you date. If Leo goes down, Abby goes down with him.
Liv heads to Sue’s apartment to get her to back off, surprised at how bubbly and starstruck she is at seeing Liv. Just when Liv thinks she has it handled, Sue shows up at OPA to deliver a killer anti-slut-shamming speech: “instead of celebrating the fact that I fully own my body…you’re telling me to be afraid of what name someone’s gonna call me just because I have the audacity to have too much great sex….I’m not ashamed, this is my life, my body, my story to sell or tell.”
Sue demands $3 million to destroy the book, so first order of business is to find all of the men (who in the book are listed by their nicknames). The nicknames are…fantastic: Dustbuster (Leo, and don’t google it), Thruster, Sit and Spin, Slapjack, Butterfinger, Bunsen Burner, and Motorhead. There is also The Doctor, who turns out to be none other than David Rosen (Joshua Malina)! Man, Abby!
Liv wrangles all the men together to deliver news about their cut of the payout ($175K each seems like a bargain to me!). David puts a stop to it, apparently just remembering that even though he enjoys a little light choking (I have no idea, but it seems up his alley), he is the Attorney General of the United States and participating in extortion is illegal.
So back to the drawing board. Fortunately, Quinn (Katie Lowes) recalls something that Sue said about this book being the only thing left in her life. They do some research and find out she was sexually harassed by her old boss and then subsequently fired when she took her complaint to HR. Liv understands that what Sue is really looking for is reclaiming the power in her life, and she helpfully reminds Sue that she won’t get it through the book, but by pressing charges.
Meanwhile, Huck (Guillermo Diaz) is hounding David for immunity to testify against B613. Believe it or not, Huck continues to get even more nuts…you can tell by the crazy eyes and the increased constipation in his voice (it’s so painful to listen to sometimes). He, inexplicably, thinks everyone will just leave him alone if he gets this piece of paper from David.
Even though Liv convinced Sue to drop the book and focus on her future, Huck is convinced her secrets will eventually come out (and with it, David’s job, power to grant immunity and fight B613). So with that, Huck SLITS HER THROAT!!!! Quinn, who is there at the time, is forced to cover for him and lie to Liv.
Meanwhile, while Abby has two boyfriends in a kinky sex book, Liv has two ex-boyfriends creepily getting together each night to debrief Liv’s surveillance. Best Line of this exchange: when Fitz (Tony Goldwyn) asks Jake (Scott Foley), “Do you mind staying on her?” Phrasing!
- I said it last week and I’ll say it again: I think we can all agree Huck is not going to make it out of season four alive, right?
- Liv is clearly off her game here. Between the complete 180 she did after David shut the payoff down (“oh yeah, extortion never works”) and the fact that Quinn caught Sue’s reference to her firing, Liv seems one step behind.
- When Quinn asks Huck where he went, he replies that he was at “the dentist…for my teeth.” Seems kind of harsh to be smug about that in front of the girl whose teeth you pulled out.
- Leo does burpees before bed? Good for him.
- “Ethan remains utterly useless”—best peripheral character shout out of the week.
- If Mellie (Bellamy Young) wants to be a senator, she needs to wear fewer cardigans.
- Oh yeah, and Liv decides to have a one night stand with a solid six-pack.
- Sue (to Liv): “You made Rumsfeld look like a nanny that’s how badass you are. You and Ruth Bader Ginsburg, that’s all we got”
- Leo Bergen (trying to get the extortion meeting moving along): “Still In!”
What did you think? Are you satisfied with the much-hyped Lena Dunham episode? Are you looking forward to seeing Mellie run for Senator? Sound off below!
Scandal airs Thursdays at 9pm EST on ABC. Next week it’s sham gay wedding time!