It’s the end of the road for Revolution as the show reaches its apex in the descent to the 12th floor of The Tower. Annnd…oh man this show sucks.
Let’s bitch it out…You know, originally I was going to adopt the regular format of examining the pros, cons and the mehs, but it’s time to get real here, people. There are no pros when it comes to Revolution. This show is garbage and this finale is eye-gougingly stupid. So, for my final review of this terrible, terrible show, here’s a list celebrating all the dumb things from the finale. Consider this my break-up notice!
- Is having a hidden keycard behind a portrait of George W. Bush meant to be hilarious / risqué / cheeky? What’s the message here? Oh wait, this is Revolution – there’s no intention behind any of these decisions
- I continue to love Grace’s (Maria Howell) line that turning the power back on could “ignite the air.” It was stupid last week annnnnd it’s still stupid this week
- The woman shooting at Miles (Billy Burke), Monroe (David Lyons) and Nora (Daniella Alonso) misses despite firing a giant blast gun from around 10 feet away. Ah Revolution and your magical never-hitting-the-protagonist-bullets
- Oh…unless we need a completely obvious “now that I know Rachel (Elizabeth Mitchell) loves Miles I can become a martyr” death. I mean, Nora’s been walking dead since she and Miles slept together. These last few weeks have simply been delaying the obvious as she was always going to bite the big one. Also: her slow-mo, death cam point of view angle? Hillarious
- Who’s stupider: Rachel, for continually suggesting that everything they’re doing is for Danny or Charlie (Tracy Spiridakos), for suggesting that Nora is more important than power for the entire world? Obviously I’ll go with Charlie, if only for the ridiculous death stare she gives Rachel after Nora dies. Bitch was a goner and you knew it, Charlie! Stop being so naive
- So how does this work – after twenty episodes of Monroe trying to kill Miles (and vice versa) Miles reveals he can’t follow through because they’re “brothers”? This does not gel at all because they’ve been actively trying to kill one another for the entire season. This feels like the writers realized they couldn’t keep having the two nearly kill each other every other week, so they came up with this lame excuse as a get out of jail free card
- Monroe getting trapped in a field during a lightning storm seems like a pretty obvious way to get rid of one of the weakest links on the show. Maybe S2 will open with a crispy-fried body smoking in the grass?
- Weren’t you absolutely gripped with tension as Aaron (Zak Orth) debated whether or not to push the button? How about ten seconds later when he actually pushed it and we didn’t have to watch his finger hover over the button any longer? Oh god the suspense! Oh wait…no. All I was doing was yelling at him to frickin’ push the damn thing already
- I love that one sign that the power is back on is that a ghetto blaster turning on. Because apparently the power went off back in the 1980s? Is this Say Anything?
- You guys, Tom (Giancarlo Esposito) is bad after all. As soon as he takes control of the militia, he immediately tries to kill everyone except Jason (JD Pardo). What. A. Shocker. I totally never saw that coming <sarcasm> #soobvious
- Guess whose fall pilot didn’t get picked up? Oh look, there’s Kim Raver. Hey Kim!
- Randall (Colm Feore) blowing his head off after calling himself a patriot = soooo stupid
- Everyone just standing there staring at the monitors as the nukes fly towards Philadelphia and Atlanta = Gold. Why are they so concerned? It’s not like it directly affects them. Weren’t they just ready to “ignite the world”?
- Finally, the teeth-kicker moment that the show seems to be mistaking for an amazing cliffhanger is that the President is alive and living in Guantanamo in Cuba (???) Allow me to express what audiences are thinking: wow…that’s just dumb. This reveal in no way makes me want to keep watching
So that’s it for S1. Will you come back for S2? Did anything surprise you? Are you excited to see what happens now that the power is back on? Do you care about the cliffhanger and return of the (yet to be cast) President? Finally, did you enjoy the show more than us? Sound off below
Revolution has finished airing its first season on NBC. It returns Wednesday nights in the fall. Thankfully this is the end of the road for our coverage