Ohmygosh y’all it’s the series finale of America’s Next Top Model. Can we just crown a winner already? Let’s bitch it out…
Jebus, can we just end this already? I’m so done with Mikey’s sob story, Mamé’s obsession with Justin and Tyra’s faux enthusiasm. Hell, even Nyle’s aspirational deaf advocacy starts to come off like a tired cliché after so much repetition. It’s not the contestants’ fault; it’s Tyra’s fault. There’s absolutely no reason why this finale needed to be divided in two and the bloated excess is evident in nearly every frame.
Let’s not even discuss the repetitive return of the stupid “pitch”, which winds up being exactly the same as the first time except Mikey completely bombs and the mom’s of the final four are awkwardly hanging around. Throw in the nonsensical explanation that the judges’ opinions, not scores, decide the final two and Lacey’s outster and the finale is off to a bad start before we even get to the final runway 20 minutes in.
The Gathercole-fronted show is fun, but brief. There’s barely a glimpse of the other contestants in their ridiculous get-ups. Even the focus on Nyle and Mamé feels short. It’s unclear why Mamé gets to walk after Nyle all three times. Like, how is that fair? Especially considering the impromptu turn she executes half-way through is solely the result of observing Nyle doing well on his second go.
With one final product placement plug from Oppo (Mamé and Nyle are named brand ambassadors for a South East Asian lag). Sure, it literally has nothing to do with the outcome of the competition, but…yay trip? Then it’s off to final judging where Yu Tsai joins the panel for the first time (this cycle? Ever? ANTM fans: feel free to correct me in the comments). Everyone blathers on about how amazing both finalists are, jostling for the best soundbite as they dissect the season’s photographic output (minus the majority of Mamé’s shitty photos, which are omitted to make things more tense). In the end Nyle takes the win, leaving Mamé to cry on her mom’s shoulder and the deaf ambassador to stand around celebrating by himself. I’m a little unclear why none of the other contestants stream out to lend the proceedings a more uplifting feel (like So You Think You Can Dance)? The result is a finale that should feel celebratory and instead feels sad, ending the series with a whimper instead of a bang.
- The best part of the runway is the quintet performing live music…though they apparently have no name (or none that Tyra offers when she speechifies). Great job Tyra!
- The clothes for the final runway looks eerily like the pieces used in the music video/makeup challenge a few episodes ago. Oh wait, they are. Perhaps it’s best that this is the final season considering how often the same photographers and designers have been used and reused. Were there really no other designers that Tyra and co. could have highlighted?
- Naturally Devin goes completely off the rails during his introductory runway walk, stranding Hadassah by herself and causing much head shaking by all of the judges seated in the front row.
- Tyra and Kelly “girling” out over Justin’s glance as he passes by is hilarious. J Smooth certainly has an effect on the older ladies. Take that Mikey!
- Courtney’s walk remains atrocious. Girl would do better on stilts.
- Hadassah’s walk is basically all ass. This is not a good thing.
- Good thing Ava was named, otherwise I would have assumed someone was eaten by a costume and pushed onto the runway. You can’t even recognize her.
- Finally, not feeling the repeated focus on the moms. Their presence heightened the last few episodes by giving it an emotional foundation, but cutting to them continuously as the judges deliver their final verdict is blatantly manipulative.
Your turn: what did you think of the series finale? Did it deserve to be stretched out over two episodes? Were you happy with the final two? Did you applaud Nyle’s win? Should the moms have stuck around? Will you miss the series now that it’s gone? Sound off below.
America’s Next Top Model has now completed twenty-two cycles. It has been canceled by The CW.