Revenge review – 2×09: ‘Revelations’

Fall finale madness continues as Revenge doubles down on Daniel Grayson (Joshua Bowman) as the inheritor of Grayson Global…and the Initiative?

Let’s bitch it out…Well folks, looks like the main thing we were meant to take away from last week’s all flashback episode was this: Ashley Davenport (Ashley Madewke) is a big ole whore. Six years ago Emily (Emily VanCamp) saved her from a life of prostitution only to put the British bimbo back into play. It’s all part of Em’s master plan to ensure that Ashley’s (now ex) boyfriend Daniel secures the vote of Salvador (Joaquim de Almeida) a skeezy old perv, and takes over control of Grayson Global. Call it Operation Pootie Tang, executed with a flourish by undercover sleeper agent, Vagina Worksalot (Thank you! I’ll be here all week. Tip your waiter).

In all seriousness, it is nice to see poor Ashley being given something to do. For nearly as long as the series has been on the air she’s had little to nothing to do besides organize Victoria’s (Madeleine Stowe) garden parties and handle Grayson PR whenever one of them dies in a plane accident or is arrested. Now that she’s been cast off by Beefcake Grayson and cast out by the Ice Queen, let’s hope she puts her very own scheme into gear. I hear that Takeda takes in strays…

Other Observations:

• I literally have no recollection of the opening scene since my notes are filled with nothing but bitchy observations about the profuse amount of khaki and tan at the shooting party. (Side Note: Where does one get a double collared dress shirt like the one Gabriel Mann’s Nolan is wearing? What was that mythical creature?!)
• What’s up with the terrible CGI shot-plates? Is this Once Upon A Time? Someone call tech support because those were unbelievable
• The call from Initiative agent/robot Helen (Wendy Crewson) to Conrad (Henry Czerny) and Victoria can only be described as high-larious. Oh yeah, there’s nothing more nefarious than calling from a limo twenty feet away and rolling up the window to end the conversation. In the deleted extended version of this scene Victoria yells into the phone “I can still hear you breathing, b*tch! You have to hang up to disconnect the call!”
• Looks like Nolan is going to be at the center of a bisexual love triangle now that former CFO Marco (E.J. Bonilla) has come home to Nolcorp. It should be interesting how the former CFO handles working with current CFO Padma (Dilshad Vadsaria), aka human Nyquil. Let’s be honest: we just want Nolan back to sleeping with boys because he’s better at it. If not that, then let’s get him working on his Trojan horse REVENGE! plan – that sounds promising!
• Gotta say that I’m enjoying seeing the softer side of Sears Emily now that she’s kicked her mom to the curb and cozied up with Aiden (Barry Sloane) in front of the fireplace. It’s good to have Hamptons Batman (as Tom & Lorenzo refer to her) back on the case
• Meanwhile at the Stowaway, the brothers Ryan – Kenny (JR Bourne) and Nate  (Michael Trucco) – track down Matt Duncan (Jonathan Adams) and beat him up. Wait…who the hell are we even talking about? Why do we care? Oh wait…we don’t! Moving on
• Finally, Jack (Nick Weschler) and Faux (Margarita Levieva) baptize their new baby (George?  Angus? Vladimir? Oh right Carl…blech). Not sure how this happens considering that baby is a bastard cause they ain’t married! Ah well…rules of television applies, I guess? Or maybe it’s like a drive-by baptism Hamptons style and all you need instead of certification is Gucci and Prada? Oh to hear what Mason Treadwell (Roger Bart) would have said about this shindig (too bad he’s still in the pen)

Best Lines:

• Nolan (after Daniel blackmails him): “Looks like I work for Grayson Global now”
• Vic (to Ashley, when the British twit suggests she’s kept out Victoria’s way): “That’s debatable.” Heh heh
• Daniel (after blackmailing Salvatore to become CEO): “I may have found my calling.”
• Emily (after Aiden asks what Vic called for): “Leverage.” Is that a new title (possibly coming January 2013)?

So that’s it for Revenge in 2012. Do you feel that the show has rediscovered its groove (something many of us felt was missing in the early S2 episodes) or is it still not working for you? Are you happy that Daniel has kicked Ashley to the curb? What can Conrad and Victoria possibly do to derail the Initiative? And does anyone else wish they’d get a text that reads “Fireworks @ the manor”? Sound off below

Revenge has finished its fall episodes. It will return Sunday, January 6 with what looks like the beginning of the end of the Aiden/Emily relationship 🙁