Plant your crackers and break our your spirit boards because we have a jazz lovin’ murderer AND a witch hunter on the loose. Yessiree, it’s time for more American Horror Story: Coven.
Let’s bitch it out…We’re at the halfway point of American Horror Story: Coven, and I can honestly say that I still have absolutely no idea where this season is going. Early on it seemed as though the the show would be about the persecution of witches, though I mistakenly believed that the threat was from everyday folks. Instead the battle lines were quickly drawn between witches and voodoo practitioners, represented almost exclusively by Angela Bassett. There are some great leaps and bounds on that storyline in ‘The Axeman Cometh’, but the titular character is symptomatic of my recurring issue with this show: instead of parsing down to get to the heart of the story, AHS just throws in more crazy. Looks like the Axeman will somehow connect with Fiona’s (Jessica Lange) quest to stay young, vital and loved so hopefully that will strengthen up that weak link.
As much as I love Lange, I can’t say that I’ve been blown away by her performance this third go around. Fiona has had much less screentime than Sister Jude did last season and while I don’t know that Coven is suffering for it, whenever Fiona turns up to complain about her health, I find it more difficult to stay engaged. The idea of losing her strength and powers to the new Supreme should be really interesting and yet Fiona seems to exist solely for the purpose of wandering about and snarling an occasional delicious one-liner. We either need more Fiona, or the times that we see her need to be less chemo/doctor’s visits/baby rescues. Hopefully with Myrtle (an unseen Frances Conroy) on the mend under the mounds of Misty Day’s (Lily Rabe) healing mud, we’ll shortly see more of the dynamic sparks we’ve seen during their power struggles these last few weeks.
In Fiona’s absence, Zoe (Taissa Farmiga) continues to step up to the plate, moving one step closer to the somewhat inevitable reveal that she’s the next Supreme (prove me wrong, AHS). Unfortunately with Zoe everything is one step forward, two steps back: she’s finally assuming a leadership role, but in the process she more or less just goads people by calling them scared bitches. I’m fairly certain that generally name-calling is considered a demotivator, Z. Plus it’s not like you’ve really been awesome more than one or two times the entire season.
The result of Zoe’s efforts with Nan (Jaime Brewer) and Queenie (Gabourey Sibide) at the spirit board is twofold: 1) Madison’s (Emma Roberts) body is recovered from Spalding’s (Denis O’Hare) scary doll repository in the attic and 2) the Axeman (Danny Huston) is set free to spiritually harass Cordelia (Sarah Paulson) and sidle up to Fiona at the bar. Reading between the lines of Fiona’s comments during her chemo session in the early part of the episode, it’s not hard to see where the Axeman and Fiona are headed…assuming her doesn’t kill her for being a witch or that she can keep her hair on when she takes off her clothes.
Either way, it appears Danny Huston will be hanging around the show for at least another episode, so get used to seeing the Axeman!
- Kyle (Evan Peters) turns up after sitting out the last few episodes, though he’s still being given very little to do. He gets a traumatic bath by Misty, goes into a sexy shame spiral, breaks shit around her shack and ends up tied to a pole in the tool shed back at Robichaux Academy. Don’t get me wrong, I like Peters but I honestly don’t know why he came back for a season of this. It’s a non-part thus far
- So Madison is officially back, though she doesn’t yet remember the details of her death. Queenie and Nan are quick to blame Spalding for her murder, but Zoe (for no real reason) realizes it wasn’t him. No biggie since Madison is being kept out of sight for now, though the obvious suggestion is that shit will hit the fan once Fiona realizes that her murderous ways could be brought to light. Better watch your throat, Maddy!
- Was anyone else expecting the ginger ale to come out of Madison’s slit neck? I’m (slightly) ashamed to admit I was disappointed when she just coughs
- The truth about Hank’s (Josh Hamilton) dalliance with Kaylee (Alexandra Breckenridge), the red headed girl he killed in 3×04 ‘Fearful Pranks Ensue’ is revealed, but it’s far more insidious than I expected. Turns out that Hank is a witch hunter planted by Marie Laveau to seek out and exterminate witches. Laveau’s rant about his failures is hilarious, but I certainly don’t envy his new assignment, which is to eliminate all of the remaining Robichaux women asap, including his wife
- Finally, kudos to Queenie for describing Spalding as Riff Raff. That seems pretty spot on
- Zoe (challenging Queenie): “You wanna find Madison? Witch up”
- Misty (to Kyle): “You look like you been rode hard and put away wet”
- Laveau (describing LaLaurie): “When I plant a fat ass cracker bitch I expect her to stay planted”
Over to you: Are you excited to have Madison back? Do you want more from Fiona? Excited to see Zoe step up (even if it does bring the annoying beyotch out of her)? Feel bad for Evan Peters and his dull-as-dishwater Frankenstein role? Sound off below
American Horror Story: Coven airs Wednesdays at 10pm EST on FX