A boring episode strands the team in two different locations for too long a period of time. Argh ZOO, this is the wrong kind of deadly!
Let’s bitch it out…
Fictura is taking the week off, so I’m filling in on all of the deranged animal attacks. Unfortunately all ‘This Is What It Sounds Like’ offers is a laughably executed bear attack on an unfortunate Parisian woman amidst some flailing attempts to build character.
RIO: Things in Rio haven’t gotten any better after last week‘s ill-advised run-in with a violent gang. Abraham (Nonso Anozie) goes to Gabriela (Yvonne Angulo) for help to recover Chloe (Nora Arnezeder) and Mitch (Billy Burke), but she’s too busy carpet bombing the city with pesticides. Abraham eventually comes through after an enjoyable smackdown of Silva’s guards. Despite not being particularly dynamic, his brief boxing fight is fun because Anozie is such a massive guy that he literally dwarfs the thugs.
In the meantime Chloe and Mitch desperately try to buy themselves time by building a fake machine to attract or repel the bats (based on which half of the episode we’re in). This is all just lip service, however, for some bare bones character work as Chloe breaks down Mitch’s gruff exterior. He eventually confesses the story of sick daughter Clementine (Madison Wolfe), which might have been interesting had we not already known 80% of this information. Good to know that Mitch isn’t a complete deadbeat dad; he’s just a relationship quitter.
Eventually Abraham’s timing proves miraculously proficient: he secures Chloe and Mitch’s release just as their machine goes off, successfully repelling the bats. Mission accomplished…you know aside from all the poison that’s now coating the city. Time to get on a plane and get the eff out of there!
MOBILE: In the aftermath of last week’s hit and run, Jamie (Kristen Connolly), Oz (James Wolk) and Agent Shaffer (George Stults) try to track down Hartley (Marcus Hester). I’ll admit that I’m uncertain why Jackson gets so frustrated with Jamie when she can’t remember every little detail about the accident, though. It’s kinda like he’s forgetting that she was in a freaking car accident a few hours before!
After a highly suspect hypnosis Q&A by Shaffer, Jamie recalls enough details to ID Hartley’s truck. Demonstrating the first sign of ingenuity we’ve seen from her on the series, Jamie uses America’s love of dogs to track Hartley to the optometrist where he’s getting needles jabbed into his eye* <barfs>. Disappointingly Hartley randomly dies from the Mother Cell as they bust in, thereby killing off Zoo‘s main baddie without virtually any fanfare.
*There are some weak explanations about why he’s doing this, but ultimately it just feels like a bad excuse for the show to show a giant needle going into an eyeball.
Afterwards things get bizarre when Shaffer comes on to Jamie (cue my sympathies for poor Connolly, who is required to make awkward small talk about her towel-clad body). It seems to come out of nowhere, so part of me is glad to see that he’s actually just playing her. Shaffer must have got his fake credentials at the 24 institute for bad spies as he doesn’t get far when Oz and Jamie gang up; they take him down with relative ease in the hotel staircase. While Zoo’s character work hasn’t been its strong suit in this freshman season, part of me hopes that we’ll see how Jamie handles the aftermath of randomly gunning a man down (after all, she began the series as a second-rate journalist, not a killer).
WASHINGTON: After so much excitement, the teams converge in the DC airport, but the episode doesn’t go any further than double down on the Mother Cell as the season’s MacGuffin. We know that attempting to inject it into his eye socket killed Hartley, so what else can the Mother Cell tell our heroes?
- Mitch complains about the music that the guard is playing right before he realizes they should switch the purpose of the machine. So let me get this straight: neither Mitch nor Chloe speak Spanish? Not even silencio? Also: why isn’t the music still playing after their conversation?
- I like how the bear attack in the Parisian home requires no less than five scenes; it goes on forever (apparently the bear terrorized her for days?). Also: the woman’s attempts to safeguard the closet are beyond pathetic – a broom that doesn’t even reach the length of the room and a cupcake pan? McGyver she ain’t.
- The stinger is that the Parisian bear wasn’t subdued, it’s gone into hibernation. Guess the team is headed to Paris!
- Mitch (to the drug lord): “All I know about the drug trade is that drugs won. So good job!”
Your turn: were you interested in Chloe and Mitch’s exploits in Rio? Impressed with the smack down Abraham delivered on Silva’s men? Will the murder or hypnosis affect Jamie? Disappointed that Hartley has been retired? And do you wish that the Parisian bear had found honey in the kitchen? Sound off below.
Zoo airs Tuesdays at 9pm EST on CBS