After a few so-so seasons, True Blood pulls off a shocker of a season finale that delivers on the show’s promise of a return to basics. Wow, do we ever have a lot to talk about!
Let’s bitch it out…I’m in such a rush that I’m almost tempted to completely bypass the resolution (read: clean-up) of season six’s sole remaining storyline – Warlow. But since I’ve enjoyed Rob Kazinsky in this break-out role, let’s give him a quick once over.
As predicted, the charming veneer comes off Warlow pretty quickly once Sookie (Anna Paquin) tries to put the brakes on the whole Faerie vampire marriage plot. In all fairness, it is a bit much to ask a guy who’s been waiting for 5500 years to “date you”, though the resulting choking, bondage and blood sucking is unlikely to win Warlow much sympathy. Is this really how he wants to start their marriage?
Thankfully the Scooby Gang is on hand to rescue everyone’s favourite danger whore. In what seems like no time at all, Jason (Ryan Kwanten), Andy (Chris Bauer), Bill (Stephen Moyer) and – ugh – Violet (Karolina Wydra) are plane-hopping thanks to Adilyn (Bailey Noble). After a brief skirmish that delays Warlow long enough to scoop Sookie up, we return to the Stackhouse home to stage a brief, final climatic battle. In a nice moment of circularity, Warlow and Sookie face off in the bathroom (remember we first saw him here in last season’s finale). This time it’s Niall (Rutger Hauer) who comes out of the mist – and at the most opportune time! – as granddad lends a helping hand in dispatching the villain who murdered his parents and Sookie’s.
Long story short: Warlow = goo on the floor and Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) is a naked toaster strudel in the Swedish mountains. Who knew that sunblock Faerie blood dissipates as soon as Warlow does?
Oh wait, right – True Blood isn’t done. Even if that feels like everything a season finale should include, there’s plenty left to come. With just a few quick words splashed across the bottom of the screen – 6 Months Later – True Blood promptly blows my mind with a Battlestar: Galactica time jump* forward.
*I’m aware that Battlestar: Galactica is not the first show to leap forward in time, but it was one of the most recent shows to use this storytelling device to good measure, so I’m hoping that True Blood will follow suit.
Basically everything has changed. Like EVERYTHING:
- Sam (Sam Trammell) is now mayor. WTF
- Sookie and Alcide (Joe Mangianello) are now together. WTF. Okay, not really because we saw a chemistry reunion last week at Terry’s funeral, but still shocking (remember they’ve never hooked up…they got nearly nekkid, but she just barfed on his shoes)
- Arlene (Carrie Preston) now owns Merlotte’s, which is called Bellefleur’s (awww)
- Jason has built Violet a boudoir in the basement and performed 178 nights of cunningulus. Gah I hate this storyline already!
- Bill has written a bestselling novel that is pretentiously called ‘And God Bled’. Snooze
- Hep V has created roaming packs of vamps who decimate small towns like Bon Temps
It’s clear now what new showrunner Brian Buckner meant when he went on record earlier this summer indicating that he wanted to bring the show back to its humans vs vampire roots. Now that Tru Blood (blood) has effectively been destroyed, we’re living in a world not far removed from S1. Humans don’t trust vampires and vampires no longer have a stable diet. In Bon Temps this uneasy tension between the two has yielded a strange capitalist quid pro quo alliance wherein vampires provide safety in exchange for nourishment. It’s an exciting, daring new direction for the show that’s full of potential.
It’s also simple:
- There’s no god-like deity or crazy supernatural creature to contend with. It’s a much more relatable conflict that can focus on the characters and not the crazy
- It’s emblematic of the show’s interest in exploring the political ramifications of vampires living among humans without the need of the Authority or Vamp Camp.
- It’s a single story that still allows all of the characters to have a role, unlike the increasingly disparate storylines that doomed the show for many of the last few years.
- Finally it offers renewed urgency to many of the relationships, particularly Sookie and Bill, who have been at odds for much of the last few years (your mileage on this last point may vary).
In short, it’s the perfect set-up for next season!
- Initially it’s nice to have Lettie Mae (Adina Porter) apologize to Tara (Rutina Wesley) for being a totally crap mother. Then it gets creepy…because I don’t ever want to hear a parent offering to feed their adult child. It’s creepy, and it reminds me of Room, which I read this summer and would rather forget
- In a tense scene, Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) nearly gets herself shot offering to protect Andy and Adilyn in penance for eating his other three daughters. It makes sense, but I can’t say I’m too excited about this particular development
- I’m a little more interested to see that James (Luke Grimes) is a bass player. Kinda figures since he’s pretty granola-looking, no?
- Violet…I just can’t. I liked her for a split second when she yelled at Adilyn to scare the two weeks old Faerie into shifting them between planes, but her sexy/jealous girlfriend act is already beyond tiresome. Considering all of the other dramatic changes the show has made for the better, how did no one notice this terrible sinkhole of a character?
- Who got the better character rehab: Mayor Sam with shiny, happy, pregnant Nicole in tow or Alcide, with his shiny, happy brush cut and whiny, mopey Sookie in tow?
- How does LaLa still not have a goddamn story? You can’t just plop Nelsan Ellis down in some glorious eye shadow and not have him do anything!
- Where’s Pam (Kristin Bauer von Straten) in this new world?
- Clearly Eric is not dead. He’s just really.badly.burned.
- Finally: totally juvenile, but did we see flaming Skarsgard peen?
- Jason (as Violet kisses Sookie): “Uh Sook…meet Violet. She’s European”
- Pam (hugging Sookie while buzzed on Warlow blood): “Sookie, I’m actually excited to see you”
- Sookie (when Warlow asks if dating equates drive-ins and bowling): “Not really, no”
- Bill: “You need a vampire in your life, Sookie.” And this is why they call her danger whore
- Bill (when Alcide growls at the previous line): “You can growl all you want, bright eyes.”
Your turn: did you like Warlow’s disposable demise? Were you excited for the time jump? Who’s “new” future is most exciting? How long can this symbiotic truce hold up? And how should Violet be put out of our misery? (My vote: Violent head-twist, Irina-style) Comment away below
True Blood has finished airing its sixth season. It will return in summer 2014 on HBO