Is that a face hugger in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Let’s bitch it out…
After two weeks on top, look for Marvel’s Guardians Vol. 2 to cede the top spot at the box office to one of cinema’s greatest franchise villains. Yes folks, the xenomorph is back and ready to tear up another space crew as Ridley Scott returns for his second Alien prequel franchise pic: Covenant. Looks for a strong debut as curious fans of the long-gestating franchise come out to see if Scott can improve on the rocky reception garnered by 2009’s Prometheus.
May 19, 2017
Alien: Covenant (Wide)
- Cast: Katherine Waterston (Steve Jobs), Michael Fassbender (Steve Jobs)
- Official Synopsis: The crew of the colony ship Covenant discover what they think is an uncharted paradise, but it is actually a dark, dangerous world, whose sole inhabitant is the synthetic David (Fassbender), survivor of the doomed Prometheus expedition.
- Good for fans of: Face rape, exploding bodies, acid blood, Iceland
- Is it worth your time? If you’re even a casual fan of the franchise, you’ve probably already bought a ticket. Even those who felt burned by Prometheus‘ stupid characters and tenuous connection to the original 1979 film are apt to check out this more xenomorph-centric film. Decent reviews will help, as will the lack of competition for horror fans. Where the $111 million film winds up is anyone’s guess, but expect a strong debut for the first week at least.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (Wide)
- Cast: Alicia Silverstone (Excess Baggage), Tom Everett Scott (Dead Man on Campus)
- Official Synopsis: A Heffley family road trip to attend Meemaw’s 90th birthday party goes hilariously off course thanks to Greg’s newest scheme to get to a video gaming convention. Based on one of the best-selling book series of all time, this family cross-country adventure turns into an experience the Heffleys will never forget.
- Good for fans of: Soft reboots, wacky family hijinks, The Detour
- Is it worth your time? This is fairly traditional looking family fare in a time when live action films have been eclipsed by animated offerings. Still, like Covenant, there’s no competition for the target audience and presumably fans of the book series are interested in seeing a new interpretation of the source material. A limited, but dedicated following should venture out to theatres.
Everything, Everything (Wide)
- Cast: Amanda Stenberg (The Hunger Games), Nick Robinson (Jurassic World)
- Official Synopsis: A teenager (Stenberg) who’s lived a sheltered life because she’s allergic to everything, falls for the boy who moves in next door.
- Good for fans of: Teens, romance, teen romance, sneezing
- Is it worth your time? A female version of The Boy in the Bubble starring kids from The Hunger Games and Jurassic World? Jebus, between this and Silverstone/Everett Scott being cast as parents, I feel old. In any case, as Box Office Prophets rightfully suggests, this is a faux John Green rip-off targeting a fairly niche audience. Without a “dead kid” angle to really cause some tissue wringing, expect a quick disappearance from theatres.
That’s it for this week. Next Friday it’s time to get wet as the sixth Pirates of the Caribbean flick debuts (UGH) and Baywatch tries to emulate the success of the 21 Jump Street films. Check back then!