You weren’t holding out for a medieval hero to save the box office, were you? ‘Cause he ain’t coming.
Let’s bitch it out…
Oh dear – so much for the start of the summer box office! After last week‘s expectedly strong debut of Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, look for things to come crashing down to earth as long-held-back flop King Arthur: Legend of the Sword limps into theatres, joined by Amy Schumer’s Trainwreck follow-up: Snatched.
May 12, 2017
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (Wide)
- Cast: Charlie Hunnam (The Lost City of Z), Jude Law (A:I: Artificial Intelligence)
- Official Synopsis: When the child Arthur’s father is murdered, Vortigern (Law), Arthur’s uncle, seizes the crown. Robbed of his birthright and with no idea who he truly is, Arthur (Hunnam) comes up the hard way in the back alleys of the city. But once he pulls the sword from the stone, his life is turned upside down and he is forced to acknowledge his true legacy…whether he likes it or not.
- Good for fans of: Medieval epics, revisionist takes, unnecessary CGI monsters
- Is it worth your time? Nope. Look Guy Ritchie was once a decent action director, but he has always favoured style over substance, often to the detriment of his films. This film simply looks like more of the same. Word on the street is that this is less of a King Arthur narrative than a Robin Hood pic, with all manner of CGI baddies introduced to goose the action (unnecessarily). While Hunnam is certainly pleasant to look at, he doesn’t exactly have the charisma to command the screen. Law, meanwhile, appears to have studied at the “Charlize Theron School of Camp Villainry.” All in all, this appears to be a bit of a hot mess.
- Cast: Amy Schumer (Trainwreck), Goldie Hawn (Death Becomes Her)
- Official Synopsis: When her boyfriend dumps her, Emily (Schumer), a spontaneous woman in her 30s, persuades her ultra-cautious mom (Hawn) to accompany her on a vacation to Ecuador. At Emily’s insistence, the pair seek out adventure, but suddenly find themselves kidnapped. When these two very different women are trapped on this wild journey, their bond as mother and daughter is tested and strengthened while they attempt to navigate the jungle and escape.
- Good for fans of: Mother/daughter comedies, body humour, (un)intentional racist stereotypes
- Is it worth your time? Maybe. It sounds like Schumer and Hawn work diligently to try and salvage what sounds like less than great material, so if you’re a fan of either (or both!), it’s almost watchable. It seems that director Levine is a bit out of his depth here, which results in more of a The Night Before than a 50/50.
Hounds of Love (Limited)
- Cast: Ashleigh Cummings, Emma Booth, Stephen Curry
- Official Synopsis: Vicki Maloney (Cummings) is randomly abducted from a suburban street by a disturbed couple (Booth & Curry). As she observes the dynamic between her captors she quickly realises she must drive a wedge between them if she is to survive.
- Good for fans of: Psychological thrillers, character studies, gore
- Is it worth your time? Yes. This low-budget Aussie import has been receiving great reviews, though it is apparently a hard watch (trigger warning for sexual assault). Not for everyone, but if you’re a genre fan, seek this out in theatres or VOD.
That’s it for this weekend. Next weekend brings the debut of the second Alien prequel, Covenant, which seems to have learned nothing from the failures of the first, Prometheus. Good times!