What’s that sound you hear? Oh, that? It’s just tumbleweeds at the multiplex.
Let’s bitch it out…
Remember those big box office films back in March? They seem like a distant memory now, don’t they? <sigh>
Yes, folks, as we wait for the summer box office to begin on May 5 with the debut of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, we’re left with two more weeks of bland – dare I say it – Unforgettable films. Ha ha ha. Get it?
April 21, 2017
- Cast: Katherine Heigl (27 Dresses), Rosario Dawson (Sin City), Geoff Stults (Wedding Crashers)
- Official Synopsis: Tessa Connover (Heigl), who is barely coping with the end of her marriage when her ex-husband, David (Stults), becomes happily engaged to Julia Banks (Dawson)—not only bringing Julia into the home they once shared but also into the life of their daughter, Lilly. Trying to settle into her new role as a wife and a stepmother, Julia believes she has finally met the man of her dreams, the man who can help her put her own troubled past behind her. But Tessa’s jealousy soon takes a pathological turn until she will stop at nothing to turn Julia’s dream into her ultimate nightmare.
- Good for fans of: Girl fights, sleazy exploitation, actresses slumming
- Is it worth your time? Oh god no, but it sure looks like dumb fun, doesn’t it? There’s been a revival of sorts for this “erotic, ‘wronged woman’ thriller” in recent years (blame Obssessed with Ali Larter and Beyonce from a few years back). While the films in this subgenre are never very good, they usually pack a punch at the box office (at least over opening weekend). You know exactly what you’re signing up for, so if Fatal Attraction, The Crush, and/or Single White Female are your jams, then this is your box office catnip for the weekend.
The Promise (Wide)
- Cast: Oscar Isaac (Sucker Punch), Christian Bale (The Machinist), Charlotte Le Bon (Mood Indigo)
- Official Synopsis: Set during the last days of the Ottoman Empire, The Promise follows a love triangle between Michael (Isaac), a brilliant medical student, the beautiful and sophisticated Ana (Le Bon), and Chris (Bale) – a renowned American journalist based in Paris.
- Good for fans of: Period pieces, soapy melodrama
- Is it worth your time? Going by critical reviews, not really. Going by how limited the advertising has been, not really. Going by the reduced screen count, not really. So…not really.
Born in China (Wide)
- Cast: Narrated by John Krasinski (License to Wed)
- Official Synopsis: Venturing into the wilds of China, “Born in China” captures intimate moments with a panda bear and her growing cub, a young golden monkey who feels displaced by his baby sister, and a mother snow leopard struggling to raise her two cubs.
- Good for fans of: Nature documentaries, unbearable cuteness
- Is it worth your time? If you’ve seen one Disney nature flick, you’ve got a good handle on what they’re all about. This one has a few unique elements – the natural environment of snow leopards has never been captured on film before – but the audience for this is fairly targeted / niche.
Free Fire (Limited)
- Cast: Sharlto Copley (Chappie), Armie Hammer (Mirror Mirror), Brie Larson (12 and Holding), Cillian Murphy (In Time)
- Official Synopsis: Set in Boston in 1978, a meeting in a deserted warehouse between two gangs turns into a shootout and a game of survival.
- Good for fans of: Quentin Tarantino, grindhouse / B flicks, comedic violence
- Is it worth your time? Yes. When I first saw the film back at TIFF’s Midnight Madness (check out my review for Bloody Disgusting), I was a little hot and cold. In the interim, however, I’ve definitely come to appreciate how much fun the film is. Free Fire is essentially one long shoot-out, but the ups and downs of the battle are highly amusing and bloody (consider yourself warned). All in all, it’s a good time at the theatre.
That’s it for another week. There’s one more week until May when Guardians of the Galaxy 2 kicks off the summer (and blows the lid off the box office) so hold tight.