The team is having “performance issues” as the search for a missing girl heats up. Plus we’re making fun of the show’s ridiculous hashtags with some suggestions of our own.
Let’s bitch it out…The second episode of 3B finds Scott (Tyler Posey), Allison (Crystal Reed) and Stiles (Dylan O’Brien) still coping with their debilitating deficiencies, which are at one point amusingly aligned with erectile dysfunction (#TeenWolfcantgetitup).
Unfortunately that means that a fair chunk of screentime is dedicated to showcasing the trio hallucinating or trying to recover from said hallucinations. The laws of diminishing returns is at work here, though; the creepy imagery that was so unsettling last week is basically just repeated again this week from a slightly different angle. That means that instead of creepy Aunt Kate (Jill Wagner) crawling around the morgue, we see her eating Allison’s guts on a gurney (Side Note to the FX team: at least make an effort to convince us that Reed’s body is on the table and not just hiding beneath. If you need to learn how to do this, please speak with representatives from American Horror Story).
Don’t get me wrong, I like that there are ramifications from their brush with death (I applauded it in ‘Anchors’) but there has to be a progression. It can’t simply be the same stuff every week, particularly when it comes to Jill Wagner’s Kate. I mean, I get that the show wants to help Wagner pay off her debt to society for participating in Wipeout, but perhaps they can have her do something else? Like maybe advise on weather and terrain appropriate clothing options for the girls before they trek into the woods in mini-skirts?
Thankfully things seem to be resolved as each of the three is put into a compromising position that requires them to buckle down and focus. Just like the erectile dysfunction metaphor the show so aptly includes, all these kids really need to do is stop overthinking things and just read/shoot/howl. That’s the way to “get it up” as Daniel Sharman’s Isaac so bluntly suggests (Side Note: Sharman is clearly the show’s greatest asset – imagine a road trip comedy with him and Stiles. #Brainexplosion!). As a result, Stiles manages to overcome his paralyzing dyslexia (#scaryfallingletters) because he’s got to save lovely Lydia’s (Holland Roden) gams from Mr. Tate’s (Todd Stashwick) animal traps. Allison, meanwhile, has to overcome her tendency to point weapons inappropriately at people by tranq-darting Mr. Tate before he accidentally murders his own coyote-daughter. And Scott overcomes his fear of losing control (#repressedhomosexuality) by howling at said coyote-daughter, scaring her back into human form.
By the end of the hour our trio is seemingly back to normal. Solving this one cold-case also apparently gets the pressure off of Sheriff Stilinski’s (Linden Ashby) back and the girl who has been trapped in wolf form simply goes home to her obviously deranged father (#nocounsellingrequired #shewouldbecrazy). All’s well that ends well in Beacon Hills, I guess.
- I got excited when I saw that the twins were in this episode, but their “pound on Scott” scene feels incredibly forced. If nothing else, it comes off as a conscious attempt by the writers to shoe-horn some action in because we hadn’t seen slow-mo in more than two minutes. I approve of the decision to retain Max and Charlie Carver on the payroll (#jailbaittwins), but if this is what we’ll see when they appear, perhaps it’s better to cut them loose.
- P.S. #WheresDanny?
- Say it with me: Kira (Arden Cho) is totally adorable, right? I mean, obviously the Scott/Allison shippers are going to be haters, but since that ship has clearly sailed, a new love interest is kinda mandatory at this point. You can’t have a main character on a teen drama go without nookie (#chastitydoesn’tsell)
- The Hale boys, Peter (Ian Bohen) and Derek (Tyler Hoechlin), continue their own separate/unexplained adventure that began in last week’s closing scene. Unfortunately everything about these scenes make no sense since it’s unclear who the “she-wolf” in question is (perhaps Derek’s mother? #noidea) The details are trivial, however, since Braeden (Meagan Tandy) – remember her on a CGI motorcycle waaay back in 3×01 ‘Tattoo’? – rescues them and discovers a mysterious object in a white ash box. Where is this going? No clue…#welcometoTeen Wolf
- Having just watched the premiere of Space/Syfy’s new series, Bitten, I will commend Teen Wolf for using real wolves and coyotes. CGI wolves just don’t work, so #kudosforauthenticity
- Finally, those ridiculous hashtags were ridiculous…and terrible. #hashtagfail #notfeelingit #hatersgottahate #sorrynotsorry #wolfzrule #Isaacishot #wecantstop #pleasesendhelp If Teen Wolf is going to keep it up, then so are we. #consideryourselfwarned
- Peter (to Derek, when his torturers state they want to hear him scream): “No one ever wants to hear me sing”
- Stiles (to Isaac): “What’s up with the scarf anyways? It’s 65 degrees out” I concur…aren’t those damn things out of fashion yet?
Your turn: are you happy that the missing girl storyline has been wrapped up? Do you think Scott, Allison and Stiles are cured? Is Isaac the show’s secret weapon (despite the scarves)? Do you think that the cutesy hashtags are ridiculous? Sound off below
Teen Wolf airs Mondays at 10pm EST on MTV