Daniel (Josh Bowman) is stepping out on his faux-marriage and Emily (Emily VanCamp) is having none of it. You know what this means: it’s an all out husband vs wife war!
Let’s bitch it out…Well if we couldn’t go full blown Mr. & Mrs. Smith, then I suppose the mental mind games will have to suffice. As much as I’d love to see Emily throw dour Daniel around a room for forty odd minutes, I’ll admit that there’s a great deal of satisfaction in watching her do away with his ferret faced lover, Sara (Annabelle Stephenson) with barely a lifted finger. Yes, folks, I think we may be done with dear ol’Sara once and for all this time. Perhaps unsurprisingly it doesn’t take much to make the cake mistress realize that she’s no match for Emily, who first insinuates that she’s trash and then gets her disowned by her mother. After three seasons, we know that this is child’s play for Emily – cauterized gunshot or no – so if Sara can’t take this heat, then she needs to leave Casa Del Grayson. And so she does!
With a wimpy white flag, Sara throws in the towel (no Roman holiday for you, bitch!), which leaves a very angry Daniel. Of course, he’s so damn clueless and blind with rage that he doesn’t even see how out of his league he is (Side Note: his final remark about sterilizing Emily is pretty damn harsh, though). Still, that serious-minded moment aside, it’s a great fun to watch Emily’s bemused looks at Daniel and Sara’s reactions to her subterfuge as she executes her plan. It’s like watching a cat bat around a couple of mice – there’s simply no contest here.
Proving sufficiently more challenging are her wounds. The final “twist” is laid out in the first scene when Ems wakes up in a bed of blood (sucks to be the housekeeper who has to clean that up…oh wait, Daniel fired them all). After getting Niko (Stephanie Jacobsen) to seal up the gunshots with a red hot poker (no, seriously, WTF?!), Ems refuses to take it easy and ends up blacking out/teleporting twice: first to Aiden (Barry Sloane) and Nolan’s (Gabriel Mann) pad and later into Conrad’s (Henry Cznery) bed. Now there’s either something super nefarious about this and someone is effing with her, or she’s executing an unconscious plot (or she’s sleepwalking…but that’s the least likely option on this show, right?). Clearly we’re meant to be shocked/appalled/vomit-y about her one-night stand with Conrad, but this reads like the seeds of a new plan for REVENGE!, especially considering the feud that’s developed between Conrad and Daniel.
It sure didn’t take long for Conrad to make use of his revised advanced copy of Voulez, staging a coup to force Margaux (Karine Varnasse) to fire Daniel. I love Margaux’s cavalier attitude: she doesn’t even hesitate to do exactly what Conrad asks. After all, this is entirely a business decision for her. Unlike the Graysons and their endless petty squabbles, Margaux is a businesswoman whose interests are in establishing her family’s magazine empire in North America.
So now Margaux and Emily are in bed (figuratively and literally). In truth if Emily is going to hook up with any member of the Grayson to take down the Empire, she could do worse than align herself with the one person who has singlehandedly destroyed Daniel’s job in a few simple steps.
- Now that Daniel has left the magazine (and presumably the Graysons are less interested in it), where does this leave Margaux? If her only stories will be domestic bliss with Jack (Nick Wechsler), the bits about babies and new houses will provide a nice counterpoint to the scheming, but they won’t be particularly soapy. Although I do suppose this SPOILERY news should help.
- Venturing too far into soapy territory is Niko’s story of revenge. Or perhaps it’s just venturing too far into predictable territory since her discovery of the kitana under Aiden’s bed is completely unsurprising. This remains an underwhelming storyline that feels particularly unsatisfying and unnecessary at this junction, so let’s hope it plays out quickly.
- Ditto for the Patrick’s (Justin Hartley) backstory bit. I don’t care at all about his search for his father Jimmy (Brett Cullen), so each time we return to it, the air goes out of the show. The exemption to this statement: Victoria’s (Madeleine Stowe) super dark tale about being raped (again!). It’s a surprisingly long, semi-graphic story that eschews most of the flashy cinematic techniques in favour of a static shot of her face, framed in a tight close-up. It’s the most lurid and soapy of histories and the only reason it works is Stowe’s dedication to the material.
- Should we make special note of Emily’s obviously orchestrated run-in between Victoria and Dr. Robinson (Dar Dixon)? It seems like there’s something more to it, unless this is just meant to continue stirring the pot between the two women.
- Finally, the cliffhanger that’s meant to carry us through the break is that Conrad’s first wife, Stevie (Gail O’Grady) has reappeared. Umm…that’s not going to cut it!
- Conrad (when Margaux offers him the corner office of Voulez): “I have no desire to punch a clock, just my boy”
- Daniel (to Emily): “Sterilizing you was my gift to the universe” Me-ouch!
What did you think of this final episode until March? Do you care about Patrick’s search for his father? What about Nico’s quest for revenge? Did you love seeing Emily swat aside Sara? Were you shocked by how vindictive Daniel’s final line was? And are you excited to see the first Mrs. Grayson? Hit the comments below
Revenge takes a breather until Sunday, March 9 when it debuts in its new timeslot at 10pm EST. Here’s a sneak preview: