Courtesy of The CW
Tyra Banks can try and pretend that “it’s all about the scores” in the latest episode of America’s Next Top Model, but we’re calling BS.
Let’s bitch it out…
As we head towards the finish line of ANTM‘s final season, the tension among contestants is beginning to reach a boiling point as Ty Ty’s editing team constructs their final narrative arcs. Mikey is the poor player, Hadassah is the unfairly targeted pageant queen and Lacey has one facial expression who Devin and Hadassah both believe is benefitting from favourtism by the judges. How much of this is constructed in the editing bay? That’s the $250 thousand dollar question (the cover of Nylon costs extra).
It’s clear from the opening moments of the episode that the episode will be all about Lacey and Hadassah. The latter is frustrated that the former is doing so well while she continues to end up in the bottom two. It’s almost amusing how delusional Hadassah is, but like approximately half of the remaining contestants, her schtick gets old real quick. I won’t lie, though, it is beyond satisfying watching Kelly Cutrone cut the pageant queen down to size when the delusional girl begins publicly questioning the judge and whining at the challenge. As Kelly (and fellow contestant Nyle) advises Hadassah: stop focusing on others and up your game.
Game is what ‘The Guy Who Closed The Deal In Vegas’ is all about. Despite the fact that Mamé dominates both the challenge and the final judging panel, it’s Mikey and his attempt to curry favour with the girls in the Tyra suite that dominates the episode. He’s flirting with Hadassah. He’s flirting with Mamé. He ‘s fighting with Devin because all of his flirting is disrespectful to Ashley. He’s proposing threesomes after the photoshoot.
All of this to say that Mikey is insatiable in his desire to hook up. Not only is it repetitive and uninteresting to watch, it’s juvenile and borderline offensive. We get it, buddy: you think you’re God’s gift to women (and for some reason fully half of them are dumb enough to fall for it). Watching Mikey go through the same act every week (reinforcing the trend that has developed since both sexes were allowed to compete three cycles ago) it is clear how much more interested ANTM is in sexy bits, as opposed to legitimate modelling. Perhaps this is why the series is coming to an end at the end of cycle 22?
As it stands, Mamé ends up at the top of the leaderpack, followed by Mikey (ugh), Nyle (yay) and Devin (WTF?). This leaves Hadassah and Lacey, who the show has suddenly decided only has “one look”, in the bottom. Ty Ty goes out of her way to insist that it is only the scores that count, suggesting that Lacey could go home, which would prove to be the first truly shocking development all cycle. Thankfully Tyra, Kelly and Miss J make the right decision and send Hadassah packing after what I believe is 7 finishes in the bottom 2?. Tyra may believe in her own delusional heart that it is the scores that determine who stays and who remains (in the competition to become America’s Next Top Model), but logic dictates that the girl who has been destined to win this since the first week doesn’t get eliminated her first time in the bottom.
All of this to say: goodbye twirly pageant queen. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!
Other Observations:
- Someone please explain to me how Devin and his overly plucked, evil-looking eyebrows end up getting such a high score for that atrocious picture? I get that he had a high challenge score (9), but why did Miss J score him another 9 for his beyond bad Fierce-A-Gram? I’m baffled.
- Miss J definitely looks like she was having a blast during the photo shoot. She totally stole most/all of the pics.
- The Fierce-A-Gram idea initially seems interesting, but after seeing one, you’ve basically seen them all. Plus the small pic essentially requires everyone to keep their face expressionless, which results in a group of identical wide shots and bland close-ups.
- Miss J’s reaction to Hadassah’s pageant twirl during the Zappos challenge is my everything. Plus turn that into a GIF and give it to me for Christmas.
- Speaking of which, how desperate are all of the references to Zappos, which clearly only gets airtime because the CEO and co-founder is a close friend of Ty Ty’s?
- Finally, what is it about Vegas that screams “throw a rooster into the picture”? Is that a Hangover thing?
Best Lines:
- Devin (talking about Tyra’s friend Tony): “He’s like Steve Jobs, but for Zappos.” Ugh…thanks for the inept comparison
- Hadassah (when everyone tells her to suck it up): “People are upset because I’m asking questions and that hurts.”
- Kelly (when Lacey calls her ma’am): “Ma’am? Don’t call me ma’am.”
- Hadassah (reflecting on her twirl): “I wasn’t thinking about it at all.” Clearly.
- Yu Tsai (after proposing Mamé do the splits on Mikey): “He’s loving it. He just made a deal!” Umm…no. You set it up to make sure he did.
- Mikey (in confessional): “You gotta be drunk to initiate a threesome.”
- Miss J (responding to Nyle’s picture): “That’s a real cock, baby!”
- Hadassah (wondering who Mikey will flirt with now that she’s eliminated): “I don’t know who he’s going to flirt with now. Maybe Nyle? I don’t think he really cares!”
Your turn: do you happy or sad that Hadassah is finally gone? Were you concerned for Lacey? Is Mame secretly running away with things? Does Mikey need to keep his rooster in his pants? Which was better: Kelly’s scathing take-down of Hadassah during the challenge of Miss J pulling focus in all of the pictures? Sound off below.
America’s Next Top Model airs Fridays at 9pm EST on The CW