There is but a single film debuting this week and lo, that film is…ugh f*ck…
Let’s bitch it…
The weekend arrives early as Transformers – this week’s only wide release – opens in theatres today. Clearly the robots gods are mocking us because prolific action director/hack Michael Bay has somehow managed to make five (!) of these unholy creations. By now the shine has come off the chrome plated franchise, which is on life support in North America despite vibrant showings in China, Japan and South Korea. Why are they bailing this crap out again?!
June 23, 2017
Transformers: The Last Knight (Wide)
- Cast: Mark Wahlberg (Boogie Nights), Sir Anthony Hopkins (Shadowlands), Josh Duhamel (When In Rome)
- Official Synopsis: Humans and Transformers are at war, Optimus Prime is gone. The key to saving our future lies buried in the secrets of the past, in the hidden history of Transformers on Earth. Saving our world falls upon the shoulders of an unlikely alliance: Cade Yeager (Wahlberg); Bumblebee; an English Lord (Hopkins); and an Oxford Professor (Laura Haddock). There comes a moment in everyone’s life when we are called upon to make a difference. In the fifth installment of the saga, the hunted will become heroes. Heroes will become villains. Only one world will survive: theirs, or ours.
- Good for fans of: pixellated CGI blurs, dinosaurs, historical revisionism, gratuitous female body shots
- Is it worth your time? Look, in my opinion this franchise has never been worth your time. Call that bias, if you must. Regardless of how you may have felt about the toys or the animated series, the simple fact is that this franchise is both long in tooth and in dire need of a rest/reboot/recycling. The fact that this is Bay’s final kick at the can is exciting, if only because his particular brand of “smash shit together” approach to action films hasn’t been working in quite some time. Unless you are a die hard fan of these films, there’s virtually no reason to recommend The Last Knight (even if it is the only wide release in theatres this week)
- Gross: $70 million / Final: $175 million
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That’s literally it for this week (although there may be some nice limited releases like The Big Sick and The Beguiled, so be sure to explore your options).
Next week brings the long weekend and something for everyone: Gru and the minions offer something new for kids with Despicable Me 3, Amy Poehler and Will Farrell co-star for the first time in R-rated comedy The House and the potential surprise action film of the summer, Edgar Wright’s Baby Driver, also debuts.