In He Said/She Said, critics Joe and Valeska dissect a film in a back and forth email exchange. Previously, we adopted a crazy ersatz child in Jaume Collet-Serra’s 2009 Orphan. This time, we’re just trying to survive a less hilarious modern take on The Happening with Susanne Bier’s Bird Box (2018) [Read more…]
Horror Queers
My writing partner, Trace Thurman, and I write monthly editorials for Bloody Disgusting entitled Horror Queers. The series focuses on films with LGBTQ themes, a high camp quotient or both.
Podcast (New for 2019!)
Horror Queers has launched as a podcast as part of the Bloody Disgusting Podcast Network. Tune in weekly on your podcatcher of choice (iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, Soundcloud, TuneIn) for new episodes:
- The Craft feat. Valeska Griffiths (June 24, 2020)
- Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker feat. FriGay the 13th (June 17, 2020)
- Lord of Illusions (June 10, 2020)
- Hellbent / Killer Unicorn feat. Sam Wineman (June 3, 2020)
- The Handmaiden feat. Jenny Nulf (May 27, 2020)
- Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II feat. Leigh Monson (May 20, 2020)
- Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island feat. Haleigh Foutch (May 13, 2020)
- Grace feat. Anya Stanley (May 6, 2020)
- A Nightmare on Elm Street (April 29, 2020)
- Poltergeist 2: The Other Side feat. Tyler Jensen & Roman Chimienti (April 22, 2020)
- Reefer Madness (April 15, 2020)
- American Psycho feat. Eric Charmelo (April 8, 2020)
- April Fools Day (April 1, 2020)
- Vamp feat. Cecil Baldwin (March 25, 2020)
- The Ranger feat. Annie Rose Malamet (March 18, 2020)
- Jason X (March 11, 2020)
- The Blob feat. Meagan Navarro (March 4, 2020)
- Zombeavers (Feb 26, 2020)
- Martyrs (Feb 19, 2020)
- Single White Female feat. Double A Horror Highway (Feb 12, 2020)
- Hellraiser: Bloodline (Feb 5, 2020)
- The Boy Next Door feat. Matt Donato (Jan 29, 2020)
- All Cheerleaders Die (Jan 22, 2020)
- Hostel: Part II (Jan 15, 2020)
- Scream 2 (Jan 8, 2020)
- Speed Dating 2 (Jan 1, 2020)
- American Horror Story: Asylum feat Emily VanDerWerff (Dec 18, 2019)
- Black Christmas feat. Alex Wiggins (Dec 11, 2019)
- Blade: Trinity (Dec 4, 2019)
- The X-Files: I Want To Believe feat. Ari Drew (Nov 27, 2019)
- Jawbreaker (Nov 20, 2019)
- Alien: Covenant feat. Drew Dietsch (Nov 13, 2019)
- Interview With The Vampire (Nov 6, 2019)
- A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge Live From Fantastic Fest (Nov 1, 2019)
- Phantom of the Paradise feat. BJ Colangelo (Oct 30, 2019)
- House on Haunted Hill (Oct 23, 2019)
- The People Under The Stairs feat. Carter Smith (Oct 16, 2019)
- The Perfection (Oct 9, 2019)
- I Know Who Killed Me feat. Anthony Hudson (Oct 2, 2019)
- Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation feat. Stephanie Crawford (Sept 25, 2019)
- Cursed feat. Tim O’Leary (Sept 18, 2019)
- Jason Goes To Hell feat. Alice Collins (Sept 11, 2019)
- IT: Chapter One feat. Michael Roffman (Sept 4, 2019)
- The Loved Ones feat. Dirty Little Horror (Aug 28, 2019)
- Good Manners (Aug 21, 2019)
- Tragedy Girls feat. Dani Ryan (Aug 14, 2019)
- Audition (Aug 7, 2019)
- ParaNorman feat. Brenna Clarke Gray (July 31, 2019)
- Orphan feat. Sade Sellers (July 24, 2019)
- In The Flesh feat. David Opie (July 17, 2019)
- Scream: Resurrection (July 10, 2019)
- Lake Placid feat. Brian Particelli (July 10, 2019)
- Tales From the Crypt Presents: Demon Knight feat. Sarah-Tai Black (July 3, 2019)
- Ginger Snaps feat. Ariel Fisher (June 26, 2019)
- Seed of Chucky feat. Chris Eggertsen (June 19, 2019)
- Final Destination feat. Terry Mesnard (June 12, 2019)
- Knife + Heart (June 5, 2019)
- Otto; Or Up With Dead People feat. Kyle Turner (May 29, 2019)
- The Brood (May 22, 2019)
- Calvaire / The Ordeal (May 15, 2019)
- Fatal Frame feat. Jenny Nulf (May 8, 2019)
- The Wicker Man feat. Cap Blackard (May 1, 2019)
- Cemetery Man (April 24, 2019)
- Psycho 2 feat. Michael Varrati (April 17, 2019)
- Oculus (April 10, 2019)
- Stage Fright (April 3, 2019)
- Daughters of Darkness feat. Ale Gonzalez (March 27, 2019)
- Ravenous (March 20, 2019)
- Cherry Falls feat. Brennan Klein (March 13, 2019)
- The Rage: Carrie 2 (March 6, 2019)
- Always Shine (Feb 27, 2019)
- Lyle feat. Stacie Ponder (Feb 20, 2019)
- Happy Death Day (Feb 13, 2019)
- Dead Ringers (Feb 6, 2019)
- Swimfan (Jan 30, 2019)
- Jennifer’s Body (Jan 23, 2019)
- Hostel (Jan 16, 2019)
- Scream (Jan 16, 2019)
- Speed Dating (Jan 16, 2019)
Patreon Podcast
If you want even more Horror Queers, you can subscribe to our Patreon account for more exclusive content:
- June 2020: Creature Feature Theme
- Audio Commentary: Sneaks on a Plane (2006)
- Full episodes: Deep Rising (1998) and Arachnophobia (1990)
- Minisodes: “Thirstiest Horror Crushes” and “Scream 5 Predictions”
- May 2020: Possession Theme
- Audio Commentary: Evil Dead – Unrated Cut (2013)
- Full episodes: The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014) and Insidious (2010)
- Minisodes: “Memorable Mothers” and “Celebrating F13th at 40”
- April 2020: Home Invasion Theme
- Audio Commentary: You’re Next (2011)
- Full episodes: Hush (2016) and The Strangers (2008)
- Minisodes: “Trapped in Your House Horror” and “Best Opening Scenes”
- March 2020:
- Audio Commentary: Hollow Man (2000)
- Full episodes: The Invisible Man (2020) and The Hunt (2020)
Minisodes: “Spoilers in Trailers” and “Flawless 5 Star Horror”
- Feb 2020:
- Audio Commentary: Valentine (2001)
- Full episodes: Gretel & Hansel (2020) and Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island (2020)
- Minisodes: “The 2020 Hereditaries” and “Worst First Date Horror”
- Jan 2020:
- Audio Commentary: Scream (1996)
- Full episodes: The Grudge (2020) and Underwater (2020)
- Minisodes: “Q1 Most Anticipated Horror” and “Is January Horror Bad?”
- Dec 2019:
- Full episodes: Black Christmas (2019) and Into The Dark: Midnight Kiss (2019)
- Minisodes: “Best Horror of the 2010s” and “Best Horror of 2019”
- Nov 2019:
- Full episodes: Doctor Sleep (2019) and Primal (2019)
- Minisodes: “Horror Gatekeepers: What are They and Why Do They Suck?” and “Must-Includes in a Holiday Horror Movie Night”
- Oct 2019:
- Full episodes: In The Tall Grass (2019) and Zombieland 2: Double Tap (2019)
- Minisodes: “TIFF/Fantastic Fest Wrap Up” and “Most Annoying Final Girl”
- Sept 2019:
- Full episodes: 3 From Hell (2019) and IT: Chapter Two (2019)
- Minisodes: “Stephen King” and “PG-13 vs R”
- August 2019:
- Full episodes: 47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019) and Ready Or Not (2019)
- Minisodes: “Controversial Horror Hot Takes” and “Do Horror Fans Lack Empathy?”
- July 2019:
- Full episodes: Midsommar (2019) and Crawl (2019)
- Minisodes: “4th of July Horror” and “Aquatic Horror”
- June 2019:
- Full episodes: Ma (2019) and NOS4A2 (AMC, 2019)
- Minisodes: “Comfort Food Horror” and “Most Anticipated Third Quarter Horror Releases 2019”
- May 2019:
- Full episodes: Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile (2019) and The Perfection (2019)
- Minisodes: “Traumatizing or Triggering experiences” and “Remakes”
- April 2019:
- Full episodes: Pet Semetary (2019) and The Curse of La Llorona (2019)
- Minisodes: “SXSW Recap” and “Best Pranks in Horror”
- March 2019: The Last House On The Left (2009) and Us (2019)
- Feb 2019: Velvet Buzzsaw (2019) and Happy Death Day 2U (2019)
- Jan 2019: Escape Room (2019) and Glass (2019)
Written Editorials
Monthly posts are available on Bloody Disgusting. The series has covered the following films:
- Dr Jekyll and Sister Hyde (Feb 2020)
- The Grudge (Jan 2020)
- Basic Instinct 2 (Oct 2019)
- The Fan (Sept 2019)
- The Town That Dreaded Sundown (Aug 2019)
- The Eyes of Laura Mars (July 2019)
- Night of the Creeps (May 2019)
- Nightbreed (April 2019)
- Black Swan
- Fright Night 2
- Scream
- Batman Returns
- Killer Condom
- Dead Silence
- Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge
- Rabid Grannies
- Ticked-Off Trannies with Knives
- Urban Legend
- Thelma
- Sliver
- Rift
- Sorority Row
- Hellbent
- Anaconda
- Closet Monster
- I Know What You Did Last Summer
- The Hunger
- The Brotherhood / The Covenant
- Insidious: Chapter 2
- The Skin I Live In
[Review] ‘A Moment In The Reeds’ Is A Lush, Evocative Romance
It appears that at least once a year, LGBTQ-hungry audiences are being gifted with a quiet, introspective gay love story that delivers both the romance, the passion and the geography porn. It truly is a marvelous time to be alive.
Following in the footsteps of Brokeback Mountain, Call Me By Your Name and – most closely – God’s Own Country, writer / director Mikko Makela’s debut feature film is the latest entry in a recent trend of gay art cinema films that chronicles a forbidden romantic relationship between two men from different backgrounds.
In this case, it’s Finnish graduate student Leevi (Janne Puustinen) – back home for a long weekend from his studies in Paris, France to help his father, Jouko (Mika Melender), fix up the family’s lakeside cottage for sale – and Syrian refugee, Tareq (Boodi Kabbani) who is brought on as a handy man. Almost immediately the men are forced together because Tareq does not speak Finnish and Jouko’s command of English doesn’t extend beyond polite chit-chat, meaning that Leevi must act as translator. He’s also required to be the mediator, explaining Tareq’s frustration to his father because the refugee is unable to procure better work despite his expertise as an Architect; Leevi is also negotiating his father’s volatile xenophobia, which adds an additional layer of complication to their already strained familial relationship.
The tension eases up when Jouko is called away overnight on business and the pair of younger men are left getting to know each other. Makela wisely takes his time developing their relationship: for the better part of their dockside chat, their discussion in the sauna, their romp in the lake and finally their nighttime drinking on the porch, the topics are shallow and general. In fact there’s barely any sense of a romantic connection; these are guarded men circling the wagons. Still, a few lingering glances from one when the other isn’t looking serves to build anticipation and by the time the pair finally lock eyes in a knowing fashion at night’s end, both the characters and the audience are ready to put an end to the slow burn and get down to action.
Makela expertly employs a handheld style, as well as tight framing and slightly disjointed editing to convey the impassioned intimacy of their first sexual encounter. Leevi and Tareq’s coupling has a hungry, desperate vibe; the scene teeters somewhere between graphic and carnal and Makela’s script allows it to play out longer than usual before cutting to the next morning. From this point on the connection between the men shifts and their interactions, both verbal and physical, are more charged, sexualized and meaningful. Conversation about the weather is replaced by startlingly frank revelations about Tareq’s double life in Syria and his flight to Finland, as well as Leevi’s memories of his deceased painter mother and his uncertainty about love following a prior relationship back in Paris.
A Moment In The Reeds spells out its central conflict in its title: this is a film that traffics in a fleeting fantasy. The reintroduction of Jouko and the realities of the external world quickly threaten to upend the romantic connection between the new lovers. In this way, comparisons to God’s Own Country are certainly apt and unavoidable, particularly the gorgeous, empty countryside playing host to forbidden desire and brooding spectacle.
The natural beauty is amplified by Makela’s exquisite direction and the naturalistic performances by the two leads. Puustinen and Kabbani wisely underplay their attraction until the men act on their desires, at which point their sexual chemistry and affection comes on strong. Although I’m not in favour of a requirement to hire LGBTQ actors to play queer characters, the ease with which the two men interact, particularly in the sex scenes, belies a comfort by the real life gay actors that is absent in other projects.
The film is not without criticism. Despite all of the groundwork laid in advance, the ending of the film feels sudden and abrupt, which won’t satisfy fans of the film’s otherwise languid pace. Narrative-focused audiences, meanwhile, may find that their attention drifts: this is a simple, straightforward story about a brief, fleeting encounter between two men. At one point Tarek mentions “a fantasy experience” and that’s what the film is for the majority of its runtime, for better or for worse.
Still, the political and social framework of the two men’s backstories is relatable and/or extremely topical. Leevi’s story is familial: he’s working through a communication rift between him and his estranged father and other unresolved issues in the wake of his mother’s passing. Tarek’s story is more global: he’s an immigrant recovering from the experience of being closeted in a country that’s hostile to the LGBTQ community at the same time as he struggles to establish a new life in a place where he doesn’t speak the language and can’t practice his own profession.
Both Leevi and Tareq are hungry – nay starving – for intimacy and someone who will listen to them (sexually, romantically, and emotionally). Considering how memorable and impassioned Mikko Makela’s film is, audiences may find themselves devouring A Moment In The Reeds with similar enthusiasm. It’s a strong contender for queer film of the year.
4/5
[Rant] Where Are All Of The Queer Female-Identifying Horror Directors?

Kimberly Peirce and Stewart Thorndike
At a recent panel on queer horror last month, I was struck by a comment from co-panelists Katie Connell and Joshua Dare about the current state of queer female-identifying horror directors. The discussion began with a definition and brief historical overview of queer horror, then shifted into a survey of the current state of representation. Concerns about the tendency to spotlight films featuring gay men at the expense of their lesbian counterparts gave way to a cautiously optimistic listing of recent films featuring out and proud women. As we rattled off a number of films, however, we discovered a strange pattern: nearly all of these films were directed by straight white men.
Let’s backtrack a little to consider the current state of queer horror, which has notably made a number of gains and increased prominence in the last twenty years. A recent guide created by Vulture entitled “55 Essential Queer Horror Films” identified key shifts in the 21st century that reduced the stigma around queer characters, thereby enabling them to move from marginal to central, sometimes even lead, roles. In the 2000s, films such as Hellbent, High Tension and Seed of Chucky offered visible, albeit problematic, depictions of gay men, lesbians and trans characters.
With the advent of gay marriage in the 2010s, queer figures in horror have become even more normalized, nuanced and fleshed out. The result has been some of the most intriguing texts to date, the vast majority of which are about queer females. Films such as Jennifer’s Body (Kusama, 2009), All Cheerleaders Die (McKee, 2013), The Neon Demon (Winding Refn, 2016), Thelma (Trier, 2017), What Keeps You Alive (Minihan, 2018) and Blue My Mind (Bruehlmann, 2018) all feature complicated and fascinating lesbian characters.

Bruehlmann’s Blue My Mind
A cursory glance, however, reveals that all but two of those films were directed by straight white men – a number that is worth pausing over. While there is obviously nothing that restricts one group from telling the stories of another, the lack of female directors is note-worthy, particularly given the problematic historical depiction of lesbians as a source of titillation for the male gaze.
This disjunction is not severe when compared to publicly “out” gay male directors, who have become increasingly prominent in recent years. Renowned master of horror Don Mancini has kept Chucky and the Child’s Play franchise alive and sexually subversive for 30 years. Up and coming directors Chris Peckover (Better Watch Out) and David Freyne (The Cured) have both delivered horror films that play with notions of masculinity and lends themselves to queer takes. And recent Oscar winner Luca Guadagino’s Suspiria, featuring a nearly all-female cast, is filled with sexual connotations and feminist readings.

Stewart Thorndike’s Lyle
The simple fact is that representation and visibility matters. Even in horror fandom, there remains a frustrating need to explain why female characters and creators matters, although the recent uptick in feminist horror criticism that began with AxWound and Women in Horror Month and continues now with publications and sites such as Grim Magazine, Anatomy of a Scream, Suspiria Magazine, Graveyard Shift Sisters and Diabolique Magazine bodes well for the future.
Let’s return to the question at the heart of this debate: where are all of the queer female-identifying directors? Despite the disheartening statistics about the ratio of female to male directors (and in spite of Jason Blum’s hastily corrected statement about the lack of women interested in directing horror), the horror genre is flush with talented women. “Out” female queers, however? Not so much.
A deep dive online (and help from HorrorTwitter) revealed only two feature filmmakers: Kimberly Peirce, who directed the 2013 remake of Carrie, and Stewart Thorndike, who directed indie micro-budget “lesbian Rosemary’s Baby” film Lyle (2014). Singer St Vincent (nee Anne Erin Clark) directed one of the segments of the all-female horror anthology, XX (2017), though she seems unlikely to return to the director’s chair in the near future. There are undoubtedly a number of other up and coming talents working in horror shorts, including Monika Estrella Negra, who is currently crowdsourcing the funding for her first feature, Two Sisters.
Despite advances in queer visibility both on and offscreen, there remains a gap in the horror genre. It is possible that filmmakers prefer to leave their mark on the screen rather than publicly disclose details about their personal lives, but the fact that there are so many heterosexual white men telling stories about lesbian characters in horror films is a potentially problematic trend. On the cusp of what Vice is calling “the rebirth of lesbian horror movies”, let’s hope that a number of proud, “out” queer female-identifying directors emerge from the shadows to ensure their onscreen proxies bear an authentic touch.
[BitS Review] MONTRÉAL DEAD END Is An Uneven Horror Comedy Anthology
Montréal Dead End is an adventurous anthology feature that is steeped in the geography of one of Canada’s most gorgeous cities. The self-proclaimed “no budget” horror film created by 18 different directors takes several different approaches that helps to set it apart from its anthology counterparts and while, like its peers, it’s not always successful, it’s worth checking out just to see how all of the pieces play together.
It’s traditional for anthologies to use a bracket storyline to link the various entries together or provide some kind of thematic through-line. Montréal Dead End opts more for the latter approach, but intriguingly chooses to intersperse the ongoing storyline throughout the film. The film’s opening introduces a noxious green gas escaping from a sinkhole in the middle of the city and the remainder of the film explores the endless stream of terrors and monsters that arise in the mist’s wake (zombies and cannibals, mostly) in different parts of the city.
As the film progresses, it is revealed that the gas is tied to a forthcoming apocalypse that can only be prevented if the Guardian and the Archivist (Jérémie Earp-Lavergne) read from a powerful spell book within 24 hours of the gate opening. These segments tend to feature encounters between the Guardian and an agent of darkness with their own agenda (the Baron of Montréal North or the Priestess of Outremont, for example), but they’re rather repetitive and, most disappointingly, the resolution of the bracket storyline (ie: the climax of the film) occurs far too quickly and is resolved in an underwhelming fashion.
The other issue with Montréal Dead End is that the quality of the shorts vary dramatically. Because there are so many filmmakers involved, many of the 15 segments are quite short; at times this proves to be a minor blessing, but more often than not the need to cram in more ends up cutting off a promising story. Not unlike The ABCs of Death, the sheer number of shorts overwhelms the proceedings, so much so that they bleed together and become difficult to distinguish from one another. It also makes the 87 minute long film feel much longer than it actually is.
Thankfully there are several hidden gems. Many of the shorts that lean into comedy fare best (possibly because it’s easier to deliver a punchline than develop a mood, build tension and pay off a scare in the same amount of time). Among the strongest shorts are:
- The Marché Atwater: Tom prepares for a date by cooking dinner, but when his produce from the market begins attacking him, the kitchen becomes a battlefield.
- Villeroy: A lonely girl discovers a mutated man in a back alley, and befriends with candy. An unlikely friendship quickly arises in this cute, but too brief segment.
- Mile-End: An interracial lesbian zombie couple barters body parts with a local grocer in anticipation of a romantic/icky dinner date.
- Parc Lafontaine: I’m 50/50 on this short, which literally mines the exchange of bodily fluids for comedy. What starts off humourously with a couple who swap bodies after they kiss becomes both vulgar and stupid when a semen joke results in penises on a face. Proof that a good concept can go very badly, very quickly.
- Beaubien: My favourite of all of the segments, this English & French comedy short focuses on a cutesy couple who ignorantly miss all of the signs that everyone around them has disappeared or died (and reanimated). An obvious, but still very funny bit finds them peering into a cafe window, repeatedly avoiding a malicious attempt to murder them with a pair of flower pots from above. Throw in a Celine Dion joke and this segment is a winner.
Several of the more horrific shorts are also enjoyable, but too many lean on familiar trappings: cannibals and/or zombies. One nearly silent short set in the The Village starts out promisingly: a pair of girlfriends fight about one’s wandering eye in a gorgeous purple neon-lit dance club. A strange man follows them home and lurks outside of the window as the envious philanderer first resists, then initiates sex, culminating in a physical attack. The association of carnal longing and food is subtle and effective, but the short has barely begun before it’s over. Contrast this with a meandering silent short about an old woman who is recruited for a bath by a group of feral children in the woods that is interminable.
Clearly not all of shorts are made equal.
Montréal Dead End plays the Blood in the Snow Film Festival Sat, Nov 24 at 9:30pm EST.
[BitS Review] SUPERGRID Is An Ambitious, Albeit Familiar, Dystopian Action Flick
Opening this year’s Blood in the Snow film festival is director Lowell Dean’s Supergrid, a loving homage to dystopian road movies like George Miller’s Mad Max series:
SuperGrid is set in a near future where mining conglomerates have turned Canada into a wasteland. Two brothers must travel the same road that claimed their sister’s life in their quest to deliver mysterious cargo. En route they must contend with road pirates, rebel gangs, and each other.
Quick Review:
You know what you’re signing up for when you buy a ticket to SuperGrid. This is a film that dutifully checks all of the action movie checkboxes:
- Heroes whose gruff exteriors mask soft emotional interiors
- A fraught family dynamic based in tragedy
- A bitter ex who secretly (or not so secretly) still loves the hero
- A cruel totalitarian dictator who is only interested in his own power base
- A henchman (or in this case hench woman) who does all of the heavy lifting in the action sequences
- A variety of explosive/violent set pieces, varying from heists to shoot-outs while driving
- A communal uprising of the people to combat the despot
The fact that T.R. McCauley and Justin Ludwig’s script hews so closely to conventional tropes of the genre could be seen as disappointing, but Canadian action films remain a rarity so this Saskatchewan-shot production feels both ambitious and unique. Considering the minuscule $1.2M budget, Dean delivers some impressive visuals, particularly in regard to the futuristic dystopian world-building.
The actors are well-cast, particularly leads Leo Fafard (as older brother Jesse) and Marshall Williams (as impetuous younger brother Deke). Tough girl North (Natalie Krill) and Owl (Daniel Maslany, brother of Orphan Black star Tatiana) steal the show as Overwatch agents, while Fei Ren is enjoyably over the top (albeit a little broad) as hissable leather-clad hench woman, Guan Yin.
The Bottom Line: SuperGrid fails to offer anything new to the dystopian road movie subgenre, but it handles the expected tropes in a confident and enjoyable fashion.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5XHdmQuSkk
SuperGrid screens Thursday, Nov 22 at 9:30pm at The Royal. The film opens in theatres Dec 14.
[Review] RALPH BREAKS THE INTERNET Is Solid Family Fun
In both the real world and the filmic world, six years have passed between adventures for Wreck It Ralph‘s titular character (John C. Reilly) and his pint-sized bestie, Vanellope (Sarah Silverman). It hardly matters whether viewers retain any specifics about the duo’s first outing; although Ralph offers a brief recap, audiences need only recall that friendship is the defining aspect of their relationship, so much so that Vanellope had the words “You’re My Hero” emblazoned on a commemorative medal that Ralph wears around his neck. [Read more…]
VOD Review: The Forest Of Lost Souls Is A Simple, But Effective Thriller
The most notable element of writer/director José Pedro Lopes’ The Forest of Lost Souls (A Floresta das Almas Perdidas) is that it is filmed in gorgeous black and white. It proves to be little more than an attractive stylistic choice than anything; this first feature is relatively straightforward. What the film lacks in substance, however, it more than makes up for in ruthless efficiency. It is a surprisingly cruel film, which is an inherent part of its charm.
The pre-credits sequence is silent save for a voice-over passage about grief. The images of a distraught looking woman wandering about a woods before finally succumbing in a frigid-looking lake are haunting. Following the title card, Pedro Lopes introduces two strangers, Ricardo Alves (Jorge Mota) and Carolina (Daniela Love), who happen upon each other in a notorious suicide forest located somewhere between Portugal and Spain. Ricardo is grief-stricken following the suicide of his daughter, Irene (Lilia Lopes) from the opener, though he doesn’t appear entirely sure about his decision to end his life. By comparison, teenager Carolina seems much more committed; she’s so organized that she has already prepared her video suicide note and concocted an alibi involving a music concert with spotty cell coverage to ensure that she’s not discovered.
As Ricardo and Carolina wander around the forest, gazing at the possessions that other suicides have left behind, they learn more about each other’s lives. Carolina’s demeanour reminds Ricardo of his remaining daughter Filipa (Mafalda Banquart), whom he claims to have failed, along with his wife Joana (Ligia Roque). His regret prompts him to try and change her mind, pleading with Carolina to give her absent father another chance.
There’s something affectionate and familial about their dialogue, but also something sinister. At times their interactions play off their age difference and difference in temperament, but there is always an underlying tension. When they finally reach the lake when Irene drowned herself, the hint of malice is confirmed in a sudden outburst of violence and one of the pair is revealed to be a killer who preys on the vulnerable and despondent.
There is more to The Forest of Lost Souls, but to say more would be to spoil the reminder of the film. It’s not a particularly complicated film and, at a brisk 71 minutes, it doesn’t overstay its welcome. The abbreviated run time and short ~one day duration of the narrative means that characters, particularly those introduced in the second half of the film, are not very fleshed out, but what The Forest of Lost Souls loses in deep characterization it makes up for in brutal efficiency. The kills are swift and painful (albeit not particularly gory or scary).
The lack of frights is a bit of a deficiency, particularly since the film doesn’t have characters for audience to invest in. Still, the solid production values (particularly the picturesque forest scenes), brief run time and solid thrills make The Forest of Lost Souls a quick and enjoyable watch.
3/5
Friday The 13th The Series Rewatch: S01E22 – “It’s So Cold. Cold And Dead”
Welcome to the Friday The 13th The Series rewatch. Each day throughout October, we’ll watch one episode of the seminal 1987 television series and tackle the highs, the lows and Micki’s hair (of course). Now step into Curious Goods and peruse our cursed antiques, won’t you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=It8kLiAC2Ic
S01E022: “The Pirate’s Promise”
Wikipedia Plot Summary: Ryan (John D. LeMay) and Micki (Louise Robey) visit a small seaside town which is haunted by the ghost of a murderous, long-dead pirate
- Director: Bill Corcoran wound up directing a number of episodes of 21 Jump Street and Wiseguy
- Writer: Carl Binder writes the first of many Friday episodes
- Famous Guest Star: Like several others, Cedric Smith is well known for his role on Avonlea

The foghorn of doom
Cursed Antique of the Week: A foghorn that summons the murderous spirit of a pirate that trades his treasure for the lives of the descendants of his mutinous crew
Setting: Whaler’s Point, a town founded by pirates who became whalers
Best Death: None of them are particularly exciting, so I guess we’ll go with Fenton (Smith)’s hook to the chest
Quirkiest Add-On: Fenton and Dewey (Thomas Hauff) are revealed to be secret brothers, which is some straight up soap opera shit
Character Bits: This is the first Jack (Chris Wiggins)-free episode since “Scarecrow”
Corny Finish Line: There is no spoken dialogue; just the sound of the foghorn laid out over the image of a full pirate ship on a sea of fog, which is pretty on-the-nose
80s Fashion Closet: Ryan wears a thematically appropriate anchor sweater that is actually kind of fashionable. Less fashionable: Micki’s giant hoop earrings and corset at the end of the episode
Kissing Cousins Incest Watch: Do you think that when the cousins make their way upstairs at episode’s end, they’re going to…Oh never mind

Angus McBride looks ok
What Works…
Ugh – nothing. This episode is a total snore. I mean, at least neither Micki or Ryan winds up being the missing ancestor so we don’t have to deal with them being in any real danger.
Ok, and Angus McBride’s make-up/mask is kinda fun, albeit in a very “dollar store Halloween” kinda way.

Maximum fodder, limited interest
What Doesn’t Work…
If the last episode used all of the collective tropes to deliver one of the series’ best instalments, then this one exemplifies all of its weaknesses. There’s simply nothing interesting happening here. The villain is identified at the very start, a bunch of randoms we have no interest or investment in are murdered and the explanation for what is happening is evident from very early on (and then frequently repeated ad nauseum). This means that the majority of the episode is spent simply watching Ryan and Micki (and to a lesser extent Dewey) stumble their way through a dull, predictable investigation. We’re talking lots of books. Like lots and lots and LOTS of books.
It doesn’t help that there is no way not to compare this episode to the film that so clearly inspired it: John Carpenter’s The Fog. And while that film has its own share of narrative issues, it at least has a great score, great special effects and a host of engaging actors to prop it up (Adrienne Barbeau’s radio DJ is too sultry for words). In comparison, this episode has a bunch of white dudes and a really fake looking cave for Ryan to stumble into.

Oopsie!
Stream of Consciousness Musings
- The number of people who are casually murdered on a date in this show should inspire any single person to remain celibate for the rest of their lives
- Dewey says Whaler’s Point is “…just a little town up the coast” to which Micki replies: “Well that doesn’t sound too far.” Huh? It could be ANYWHERE with that description!
- When Micki fails to distract Fenton while Ryan investigates the lighthouse for the foghorn, Ryan naturally winds up hanging off the ledge as Fenton wanders around above him. This makes no sense because Fenton would FOR SURE see Ryan’s fingertips
- The middle section of the episode really drags, save from Barney (Bernard Behrens) getting an axe to the back of the head, which is expected but still kind of cool
- Micki kicking the door to the lighthouse in frustration is surprisingly enjoyable
- Of all of the items that Fenton could attack someone with, he chooses a sword?
- As expected, Dewey gets the sharp end of the pointy sword…although it sticks out of his back at a much lower angle than I would have expected. Did Fenton stab him in the groin?
- Why does the ghost of McBride attack Ryan in the caves? This is never really explained
- Micki delivers yet more exposition to Ryan about Fenton’s use of the foghorn to summon McBride. No shit, WE ALREADY KNOW THIS
- “I already killed 12 people!” Lol. This line by Fenton shouldn’t have made me laugh, but it’s delivered so indignantly. Like, how many more people must he murder before he gets his bounty!
- Oh shocker, Fenton is the final descendant. Snooooooze
- The bit where McBride summons Fenton to him and impales him with a hook is satisfying, but bloodless. Why are some episodes so light on FX when others are a goldmine?
- Why is Micki so distraught by Dewey’s death? I don’t get it. Just because he cared about Barney and saved her life? This is true of half of the episodes for crying out loud
- Oh my god, even in the coda we’re still delivering exposition about why Fenton was killed. Ugh this episode draaaags
See you back here tomorrow for Friday The 13th The Series episode 23: “Badge of Honor”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1Nu9rbDTZQ
Friday The 13th The Series Rewatch: S01E21 – “Anyone Who Comes Near Us Dies”
Welcome to the Friday The 13th The Series rewatch. Each day throughout October, we’ll watch one episode of the seminal 1987 television series and tackle the highs, the lows and Micki’s hair (of course). Now step into Curious Goods and peruse our cursed antiques, won’t you?
https://youtu.be/dOKvn8MLdQk
S01E021: “Double Exposure”
Wikipedia Plot Summary: Ryan (John D. LeMay) sees famous television newscaster Winston Knight (Gary Frank) hack someone to death with a machete at the same time he was on the air live.
- Director: Newcomer Neill Fearnley directs the first of two Friday episodes
- Writer: Oh dear, “The Poison Pen” and “The Great Montarro” writer Durnford King returns for his final episode
- Famous Guest Star: By this time, Frank has appeared on several episodes of Remington Steele while Catherine Disher would go on to a starring role in Canadian genre TV classic Forever Knight

Old timey camera
Cursed Antique of the Week: A camera that produces a murderous double of the person whose picture was taken. The original will die if the negative isn’t destroyed in five hours
Setting: Winston Knight’s apartment / Curious Goods
Best Death: Despite appearing offscreen, Cathy (Disher)’s “the killer is in the house” murder is easily one of the most terrifying deaths on the series so far
Quirkiest Add-On: In his desperation to recover the negative, Knight creates a duplicate Jack (Chris Wiggins) to do his bidding
Character Bits: Judging from Ryan’s repeated insistence about getting into Cathy’s apartment, he’s definitely still a virgin
Corny Finish Line: Not unlike “Brain Drain“, the episode ends on a downer note as Ryan hears one of his last conversations with Cathy play out while staring at her picture
80s Fashion Closet: Micki (Louise Robey) wears a black turtleneck mini, a three-quarter button up jacket and a matching motherfucking bodice. It looks SO RIDICULOUS
Kissing Cousins Incest Watch: Since Ryan is too busy crushing on someone else and Micki isn’t acting completely irrational (like she did in “The Quilt Of Hathor 1 & 2“), there are very few incest vibes in this episode

Machete fight!
What Works…
Friday the 13th is giving me whiplash. One episode is lacklustre, and the next is excellent. The show’s quality is all over the map, but I am happy to report that “Double Exposure” is definitely one of the best.
Part of my appreciation of this is undoubtedly personal: I like mad scientists, doubles and slashers, so this episode is checking all of my boxes. What’s fascinating is that most of the best material in the episode isn’t new territory for the series, but when it is smartly packaged, well-written and tied into the development of our core cast, it works like a charm.
Among the best features of “Double Exposure” is the examination of the camera/photograph as a reproduction that is inferior to the original. There are cameras (and images) scattered throughout the episode, including the picture that Ryan and Cathy take on their last date, the cameras that confirm Knight’s alibi in the television studio and, of course, the cursed camera that literally reproduces a subpar copy of the original. “Double Exposure” reinforces that all of these doubles are inferior copies over its 45 minute runtime. The live feed of Knight doesn’t actually prove he isn’t a killer, his double Knight 2.0 is a mindless somnabulist that can’t have its own life and, sadly, Ryan and Cathy’s picture only confirms her absence after she is killed. This is surprisingly deep material for the series.
Of course none of this would work if all of the other technical cylinders weren’t firing. The gooey vat that the doubles come out of harkens back to classic monster movies (with a touch of Re-Animator) and creating a Jack double for a machete fight in the climax is inspired. Throw in two standout supporting turns from Frank (solid) and Disher (charming and memorable) and “Double Exposure” is an episode I definitely won’t forget after five hours.

The ultimate hot flash
What Doesn’t Work…
It’s mostly a minor quibble, but I’ll confess that Jack and Micki’s initial disbelief of Ryan frustrated me. At this point in the series, it’s unbelievable that they wouldn’t trust each other about anything remotely supernatural considering it is literally their raison d’être.

Cathy’s murder is among the best the series has ever done
Stream of Consciousness Musings
- I’ll admit that I thought the villain was going to be an amphibian based on the hand that first came out of the goo
- Still don’t care for the way the show randomly introduces new characters like they’ve always been there (see “Brain Drain” and “A Cup Of Time“). At least we’re provided context for how Ryan and Cathy met
- Not only does Ryan try to invite himself in to Cathy’s place, he brings up the fact that she wouldn’t let him later when he’s being questioned by Detective Duncan (Tony De Santis)! Newsflash Ryan: Cathy doesn’t owe you sex because you went on a date, you dumb horny virgin!
- The slow-motion machete attack in the alley is the first indicator that this episode is going to be solid
- The special effects for the doppelgänger death are a little odd: initially it looks like Knight 2.0 is bleeding to death, then he turns to charr like the negative
- Direct from my notes: “Detective Duncan provides Ryan’s name to Knight, confirming that Duncan is, in fact, the stupidest cop on the force”
- Ryan apologizes to Cathy for “dragging her into all of this” so she’s pretty much guaranteed to die at that point
- In case you wondered: Ryan is a boxers man
- The nightmare sequence when Ryan is attacked through the TV in slow motion is really good. It gave me a touch of A Nightmare On Elm Street 3 and a dash of Videodrome
- Knight puts on a good show when Ryan and Cathy visit his apartment. Maybe he should have been an actor instead of a news anchor?
- It’s hard not to blame Cathy for her own death. If she is dumb enough to go home in spite of the knowledge that she left her purse at Knight’s house and then she calls Ryan instead of the police, well she kinda deserves to die
- The sequence when Knight 2.0 turns on the TV while Cathy is recording her message to Ryan is shiver-inducing. It’s a quintessential slasher moment. As soon as we know that the killer is already in the house, you know she’s a goner.
- Also: didn’t she see Halloween? Don’t hide in a flimsy closet!
- I’m pretty sure that random strangers like Jack and Ryan aren’t allowed to just burst into a crime scene
- Detective Vincent wants a statement from Ryan, who is crying profusely, and Jack shuts it down. Good job Jack
- Probably should have anticipated that someone would be duplicated, but I didn’t. So it’s a fun surprise when Jack 2.0 shows up
- Knight thinks that he’s going to win a Pulitzer Prize for catching the Machete Killer? Lol. Dude, get real
- Argument for a standalone episode where we follow Knight’s producer Phil (Dennis O’Connor) as he is charged for agreeing to wait to call the cops outside of Curious Goods
- Ryan realizing that Jack is a duplicate because he doesn’t know the cursed antique can’t be destroyed is good continuity
- My absolute favourite moment of the episode is the freaking MACHETE FIGHT! Bonus points for the moment when Knight 2.0 cuts Jack 2.0 and the watery goo pours out of his wounds
- Sidebar: Jack 2.0 has a machete, and Knight 2.0 has a machete. Is Knight (original flavour) getting them wholesale or something?
- Does the fact that Knight meets his duplicate, then disappears in plain sight, then Knight 2.0 dies on camera mean that everyone now knows that the supernatural is real? (Yes, that’s rhetorical because I don’t expect it to happen)
- I disagree with Jack’s claim that if Knight 2.0 had lived, he would have used the camera to continue making duplicates. There’s absolutely no evidence to support this claim
- Sad Ryan realizes that the three of them are the cursed ones (which, duh!). The real question is whether he is legitimately upset or if he just wistfully realizes that he’s no closer to getting laid?
See you back here tomorrow for Friday The 13th The Series episode 22: “The Pirate’s Promise”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=It8kLiAC2Ic
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