Queer.Horror.Movies

The curated portfolio of film journalist Joe Lipsett

Friday The 13th The Series Rewatch: S01E14 – “You’re No Phone Men”

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Welcome to the Friday The 13th The Series rewatch. Each day throughout October, we’ll watch one episode of the seminal 1987 television series and tackle the highs, the lows and Micki’s hair (of course). Now step into Curious Goods and peruse our cursed antiques, won’t you?

https://youtu.be/ytkvCcBYN0k

S01E014: “Bedazzled”

Wikipedia Plot Summary: After Jack (Chris Wiggins) and Ryan (John D. LeMay) recover a cursed lantern, the owner — Jonah (Alan Jordan) — tries to get it back by terrorizing Micki (Louise Robey) and her young guest, Richie (Gavin Magrath) at Curious Goods.

  • Director: Alexander Singer, who eventually becomes a major Star Trek: The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine contributor
  • Writer: Both Alfred Sole and Paul Monette are back for their second episode after “Tales Of The Undead “
  • Famous Guest Star: Strangely enough the second fiddle villain, Tom, is played by Prom Night‘s David Mucci

The magic, multi-purpose lantern

Cursed Antique of the Week: A lantern that causes people to spontaneously burst into flame…or it finds buried treasure…or both. It’s kinda unclear

Setting: Curious Goods gets top billing this episode

Best Death: Tie!

  1. One main goes up like a bonfire when he is immolated by the lantern in the first scene
  2. Officer Kennedy (Ratch Wallace) is brutally impaled with a stake from behind

Quirkiest Add-On: Great gory sound effects when Jonah removes the spear from Officer Kennedy’s chest. It sounds wet

Character Bits: Jack mentions a “monsoon in Singapore”, which supports our knowledge that he’s well-traveled

Corny Finish Line: “Kids” Micki mouths after her friend Jenny reveals to Jack and Ryan that she and Richie had anything BUT a nice quiet night at the store

80s Fashion Closet: The high waisted skirt and 3/4 length teale leggings SCREAM 80s to me

Kissing Cousins Incest Watch: Again, virtually nothing — though this is mainly because the cousins spend the majority of the episode apart

Micki is thankfully allowed to be much more than a damsel in distress

What Works…

Credit Friday The 13th for attempting something different (that isn’t a black & white time travelling vampire narrative). While home invasion films weren’t out of the ordinary in the late 80s, the decision to sideline two-thirds of the main cast and do a single location episode is unique for the show. Even if “Bedazzled”s premise doesn’t have quite enough juice to sustain an entire episode, it’s worth applauding the decision to take this risk.

Considering the ill-will that the series showed Louise Robey in the last episode, it’s nice to see her more or less get her own starring vehicle here. Robey absolutely nails her Final Girl role, too; the end of the episode is essentially one long fight scene between her and Jonah and Micki kicks some serious butt. Watching Micki use her brain and her brawn is incredibly satisfying, particularly after so many episodes that position her as little more than a damsel in distress. Hell, even the fight choreography is good!

Overall, what makes “Bedazzled” stand out is its willingness to experiment with a different narrative structure than the rest of the series. Starting things aboard the ship in media res immediately plunges us into the action and the rest of the episode naturally stems from there. It’s contained and sequential and it works.

Who ordered child endangerment?

What Doesn’t Work…

Admittedly the cursed object is less of a narrative driver than an inciting incident to get Jonah and Tom to Curious Goods. So that’s a bit of a cheat.

The inclusion of a random child is also frustrating. This isn’t the first time that Friday The 13th has introduced a character without any pretext (it occurred most notably with Birdie in “A Cup Of Time“) and it doesn’t feel any less jarring here. It’s hard to muster concern for the pudgy little brat when we’ve only just met him and while Richie acquits himself okay (he’s basically performing one of two roles: hog-tied in the basement or Home Alone-ing with Micki), his inclusion still feels like a bit of a desperate ploy by writers Sole and Monette to up the stakes by putting a child in danger.

Crispy Jonah

Stream of Consciousness Musings

  • I definitely confused Jordan for William Mapother at first, so imagine my disappointment when I realized Tom Cruise’s cousin wasn’t the baddie
  • The in media res action sequence really adds great energy to kick off the episode. It’s a solid creative choice that I hope we see more of in the future
  • Also working well: the FX for the lantern immolation
  • It took me a moment but this ship is definitely the same one from Cronenberg’s episode, only it is filmed from the other side
  • Were prank callers really called “breathers” back in the 80s? That kind of sounds like a Tobe Hooper slasher
  • Jonah and Tim literally say the words “gain access to your [Micki’s] master box in the basement”. This is not an euphemism, but I still snickered because I’m basically a 12 years old boy
  • Richie is a brat right from the get-go. Not only does he repeatedly threaten to hide and scare Micki, he’s also a chocolate chip eating fattie. Naturally he immediately winds up being abducted and hog-tied
  • “You’re no phone men.” No shit, Micki
  • “Do you know what skin smells like when it burns?” Wow, this got graphic real quick…except that Jonah proceeds to just mildly burn her hair, which is the opposite of threatening
  • When Jonah prevents Micki from stabbing him, it kinda looks like they’re about to make out
  • Officer Kennedy — aka Officer Red Shirt — is LITERALLY wearing a red hat, which feels a little on the nose. At least he manages to kill Tim before he’s skewered
  • Micki gets locked in the vault with Richie <ugh> but the lack of Veda the doll from the pilot and “The Root Of All Evil” is exceedingly disappointing
  • Kennedy’s death, while predictable, is actually a pretty effective set piece. It has mood and atmosphere and is also surprisingly graphic
  • It’s odd that Micki actually removes the lantern from the vault. Surely it would be easier to just give Jonah what he wants rather than lugging that giant antique around
  • Ooof, the screeching of the doorknob to Micki’s room is the scariest thing in this entire episode. It’s like nails on a blackboard
  • Heh heh, Jonah calls Richie a “pup”. Because he’s fat (get it?)
  • I don’t know that electricity (and electrocution) work the way it does when Jonah gets zapped in the bedroom, though I will give props to Micki and Richie’s ingenuity
  • Also: kudos to the fight choreographer for that kitchen battle because it looks genuinely hardcore
  • Micki tosses Jonah over the bannister, then burns his face to smithereens. I must say the final result looks surprisingly crispy
  • Contrasting Jack and Ryan’s drama about the convention/car breakdown with Micki’s silence is obvious, but still totally works for me. Especially considering that Richie will need years and years and YEARS of therapy to recover from his incident
  • After glancing at the next episode title, I figured that the mirror Micki uses in the climax is the next episode’s cursed antique, but alas it is not! The writers really need to do better with their Easter eggs (by which I mean begin including any)

See you back here tomorrow for Friday The 13th The Series episode fifteen: “Vanity’s Mirror”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8Y1UDwGDGE&t=2s

[TADFF 18] Extracurricular Proves The Kids Aren’t Alright

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Ray Xue’s feature directorial debut, Extracurricular has a solid hook: the film is about a group of sociopathic teens who casually plan and execute murders in between College applications, book reports and dance recitals. Following in the footsteps of last year’s festival hit Tragedy Girls (albeit in less satirical fashion), Extracurricular aims to be shocking and topical but winds up missing the mark, despite confident direction by Xue and dedicated performances by the young cast.

The film opens solidly with a double murder right off the top. After a brief introduction, a pair of twenty-something lovebirds are awoken by the sound of their car alarm in the middle of the night. The man goes to investigate and never returns, leaving his girlfriend to discover his mutilated body outside and a group of neon-masked villains lining the driveway. After a brief chase, the woman is also dispatched by The Purge-like killers.

There’s no mystery about the identity of the murderers: the very next scene finds a foursome of teens chatting animatedly in a diner about what they felt worked and what didn’t. Aggressive leader Ian Gordon (Spencer Macpherson) is a nihilist, while his long haired brother Derek (Keenan Tracey) is flippant and casual. Derek’s girlfriend Jenny (Brittany Teo) initially presents as a little princess-y (she complains about the outdoor murder location), but is quickly revealed to be the most ambitious and murder-focused member of the group. Circling the periphery is defacto protagonist (or is it anti-hero?) Miriam (Brittany Raymond), who is detail-oriented but cautious.

Following the murders, writers Matthew Abrams and Padgett Arango slow things down. We see the foursome at school, where they’re revealed to be popular, scholastic, and involved in social activities. They just so happen to also use study period to plan future murders and survey social media for news of their extracurricular exploits. Abrams and Arango never quite nail the tone of the film, so it is unclear if audiences are meant to cheer for these murderous teens or condemn their psychopathic tendencies. There’s a suggestion that their boredom, the small town they live in and a lack of parental supervision has contributed to their development, but these ideas are never fully explored.

And therein lies Extracurricular‘s greatest problem. The script is poorly constructed, which hampers the film to such a degree that even its strengths can overcome the writing deficiencies.

While there are no hard and fast screenwriting rules that must be obeyed, there are several near-universal screenwriting techniques that successful writers use. And for a good reason: they work.

Abrams and Arango adhere to a fairly traditional structure for the first hour or so of the film, and then they make the ill-advised decision to abandon their course of action in favour of a series of unexpected – and unsatisfying – narrative developments. This proves to be their — and the film’s — undoing.

The most grievous mistake they make is asking the audience to invest in characters without paying that investment off.  If, for example, the vast majority of the film is centered around one character, the audience is likely going to assume that individual is your protagonist. If this character is given a love interest and a promising story arc, the audience will expect these elements to amount to something. If other characters are given backstories about absent or fractured relationships with their parents, this information might be seen by audiences as relevant to the story’s outcome.

Unfortunately this is not the case with Extracurricular, which introduces all of these components, then fails to address them or pay them off. And while this may seem like a daring or risqué inversion of audience expectations in an attempt to do something unique and out of the box, the reality is that most of the climax feels out of the blue, undercooked and, unfortunately, quite unsatisfying.

This is a shame because Xue’s direction is solid. He has a good understanding of how to light and shoot kill sequences, alternating between jerky handheld action and steadicam long shots. There’s also a sense of experimentation in the way he uses the camera, such as his slow 360 degree pan around the room in a scene when the group discusses which mask to wear for a Halloween kill. Traditional cutting would have sufficed, but the circular motion is more engaging and reinforces the meandering nature of their conversation.

The young cast is also extremely game, particularly Teo and Raymond. As the not-so-secret sadist, Teo is frighteningly efficient — what may be a strange hobby for the others comes off as a vocation to Jenny. Raymond, meanwhile, has the most meaty material to work with; Miriam is not only the most apprehensive member of the group, she is negotiating her burgeoning feelings for a classmate, videographer Layla (Shanel Maida). The chemistry between the pair is appropriately romantic, particularly in the dreamy sequences when Layla films Miriam dancing for her College application. Miriam’s slow drift away from her homicidal friends is Extracurricular‘s most engaging storyline, which only makes it all the more frustrating when Abrams and Arango abandon it in favour of a series of twist endings.

Sadly, despite strong direction and dedicated performances by the cast, the film is undone by poor scripting decisions. There’s a kernel of something great here, but Extracurricular ultimately fails the written.

2/5

Friday The 13th The Series Rewatch: S01E13 – ““Noooo, I Don’t Wanna Go!”

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Welcome to the Friday The 13th The Series rewatch. Each day throughout October, we’ll watch one episode of the seminal 1987 television series and tackle the highs, the lows and Micki’s hair (of course). Now step into Curious Goods and peruse our cursed antiques, won’t you?

https://youtu.be/vLyKVN7zTCY

S01E013: “The Baron’s Bride”

Wikipedia Plot Summary: Micki (Louise Robey) and Ryan (John D. LeMay) are thrown back in 19th-century London along with murderous, hypnotic vampire Frank (Tom McCamus) who has his eyes on Micki.

  • Director: Bradford May — prolific director of many, many episodes of JAG
  • Writer: Larry Gaynor had a very brief career circa 1985-1990 writing for Danger Bay and Seeing Things
  • Famous Guest Star: McCamus, who would go on to guest on Mutant X and Orphan Black

Haunted cape + clasp

Cursed Antique of the Week: A magical cape that makes its wearer irresistible to women AND a clasp that allows time travel when activated by a drop of blood

Setting: London 1875

Best Death: Lead vampire Marie Simmons (Diana Barrington) is staked through the back with her own For Rent sign

Quirkiest Add-On: The switch to black and white to signify the jump into the past

Character Bits: Even fake-ass vampires can sense the incestual pull between the cousins

Corny Finish Line: Writer Abraham (Kevin Bundy) turns out to be Bram Stoker <insert wah wah noise>

80s Fashion Closet: I don’t know if it’s 80s fashion, but that the cowl on that cape looks cheap AF

Kissing Cousins Incest Watch: Not much, aside from the fact that everyone knows that they’re hot for each other

Poor Tom McCamus

What Works…

Umm, literally nothing. I’m not even being spiteful. This is easily the worst episode of the series (to date).

Louise Robey is saddled with the worst part of her career

What Doesn’t Work…

Everything. Like literally EVERYTHING.

“The Baron’s Bride” is the equivalent of Friday The 13th throwing everything at the wall and seeing what sticks (A: nothing). Vampires? Sure. Mind controlling cape? Why not! Time travel? Sweet Jebus — of course!

Look, this episode might have been fine with only one of these components. Maaaybe it could have managed two. But all three? No, this is a clusterf*ck.

Where to even begin? The vampire “effects” and cold open at the Simmons house set the tone and that tone is laughable. Everyone is overacting and being kind of ridiculous, like this is a repertory school for novice actors. Then suddenly we’re thrown into a black and white version of the show set in London, UK 1875 (because whaaaaa?) The rest of the episode includes: a) copious amounts of tedious slow-motion running b) a female character, Caitlin (Susannah Hoffmann) whose sole function is to profess her love for her husband and die and c) Louise Robey completely losing all ability to act. It. Is. Painful! Everyone deserves better and no one rises above this dreck.

Terrible. Terrible. Terrible.

I’ll allow this

Stream of Consciousness Musings

  • Apparently putting on the cape also means putting on makeup? The minute that Frank puts the cape on, he’s suddenly wearing lipstick and eyeliner
  • House letter Marie is both a vampire and she only speaks in rhymes? Ugh, this woman deserves to be staked
  • Marie smacking them around is…not threatening. It just looks very silly
  • I’m unsure how Micki’s blood gets on the clasp considering she’s nearly a foot away from Frank
  • I love how Abraham and Caitlin mistake Micki and Ryan for theatre actors. Robey and LeMay probably wish they were after this episode
  • Just in case you didn’t get enough bullshit Jack the Ripper nonsense from “Doctor Jack“, we’re now killing old-timey prostitutes in this episode
  • Actual line from my notes: “Caitlin is a ‘proper’ lady”
  • The slow motion running down the streets? I just can’t
  • Do you think the production team spent their entire budget on smoke machines?
  • I legitimately thought that we had stumbled onto the set of a John Woo movie when they open the door to that basement and a bunch of pigeons fly out
  • Why does Frank age rapidly (a la The Hunger) when he takes off the cape considering Marie never did? Is it a sexist cape that only works for men?
  • I usually appreciate the efforts to create some distinctive scores/music for each episode, but I don’t understand the need for a whistle each time Frank uses his vampire strength/powers
  • My favourite moment of the episode is when Abraham rushes at Frank with a string of garlic
  • Micki’s incessant screams as they drag her away from Frank are painful. I felt for Robey so much during the episode because it must have been humiliating for her to have to do this
  • Favourite line of the episode: “We can’t lose – it’s two against one” Abraham tells Caitlin, like an idiot
  • Blah blah blah – Caitlin is murdered, Abraham blames them for everything that’s happened in the less than 24 hours they’ve been in his life, Micki wants to face suck with Frank and Abraham rescues them at the last minute. It’s all soooo incredibly predictable (AND poorly executed to boot)
  • The coda with the “Abraham wrote Dracula” bit? The rotten cherry on the top of this shit sundae, my friends. Good riddance to this episode!

Alright, let’s never speak of this again. See you back here tomorrow for Friday The 13th The Series episode fourteen: “Bedazzled”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytkvCcBYN0k

Friday The 13th The Series Rewatch: S01E12 – “He Got What He Deserved. He Was A Pig”

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Welcome to the Friday The 13th The Series rewatch. Each day throughout October, we’ll watch one episode of the seminal 1987 television series and tackle the highs, the lows and Micki’s hair (of course). Now step into Curious Goods and peruse our cursed antiques, won’t you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FMrSZ9Nc0Y&t=5s

S01E012: “Faith Healer”

Wikipedia Plot Summary: A debunked faith-healer acquires real healing-powers, but gets debunked again, and worse, by one of Jack (Chris Wiggins)’s peculiar old friends (Robert A. Silverman)

  • Director: My all time favourite Canadian director David Cronenberg takes the reins
  • Writer: Christine Cornish pens her one and only Friday episode
  • Famous Guest Star: Conenberg regular Robert A. Silverman (Scanners, Naked Lunch) takes center stage as Jerry Scott

The Sforza glove

Cursed Antique of the Week: The Sforza glove that transfers a magnified ailment from one person to another

Setting: Jerry’s floating house. See Quirkest Add-On below

Best Death: Jerry’s grisly tumour face is a sight to behold

Quirkiest Add-On: Jerry lives on a GIANT barge docked in the harbour

Character Bits: Micki reveals that she studied the Renaissance Italian court at university

Corny Finish Line: After an uncomfortable encounter, Micki and Jack make up when they jokingly compare different curse — science vs magic — for Ryan’s cold. Jack jokes: “If he gets worse or dies, all bets are off”

80s Fashion Closet: Is Fishoff (Miguel Fernandes)’ all white ensemble inspired by Southern faith healers or is it just an unfortunate 80s fashion choice? It really could go either way

Kissing Cousins Incest Watch: With an episode primarily dedicated to Jack, Jerry and Fishoff, there’s less cousin-ly love to go around, though at one point Ryan (John D. LeMay) drapes his arm around Micki (Lousie Robey) in an overly affectionate fashion. Earlier he also chastises her with the very sexist line: “Patience and tolerance. I thought those were traditional female virtues?”

Cronenberg’s magic body horror touch

What Works…

Not unlike the Atom Egoyan episode from earlier in the season, “Faith Healer” embodies a number of visual and thematic components that reflect guest director David Cronenberg’s interests. Directed in between The Fly and Dead Ringers, this is the height of Cronenberg’s (more respectable) body horror period and the episode feels more indebted to his vision than any other instalment of the series thus far.

While the Sforza glove is a very traditional “cursed object” (akin to the teacup from “A Cup Of Time” in its transferrable powers), “Faith Healer”s more or less casts aside the Curious Goods crew in favour of a two person showdown between guest stars Fernandes and Silverman. Micki and Ryan barely appear and even Jack feels cursory — he’s more involved, but only because of his ties to Jerry.

The prominence of Silverman is unsurprising given his history with Cronenberg (they had already worked together on Scanners and The Brood by this time), but within the historical context of the series it is fascinating to see an episode given over to the will of a director and guest star in such a prominent way.

Another element of significance is Cronenberg’s direction, specifically the lighting and the use of enclosed spaces. The famed directed heavily favours shadowy lighting across characters’ faces, which casts both Fishoff and Jerry into suspicion early and often.  As for the enclosed spaces, Friday The 13th has always used alleys for sets, but “Faith Healer” features a preponderance of them. Cronenberg shoots these alleys so that they feel more narrow and threatening than ever. This includes Jerry’s floating home, which feels similarly suffocating. Plus the presence of a boat where violence breaks out clearly evokes Videodrome.

Finally, there’s the increased prominence of practical makeup effects. The pulsating bubbles on victims’ faces, Jerry’s gory chest tumours, as well as the glove, are classic Cronenberg body horror. The fact that these effects are so much more realistic and graphic is fascinating considering that special effects makeup artists Darren Perks and Randy Daudlin were already been working on the series before this episode. I imagine that Cronenberg brought his experience with macabre makeup effects to set. It will be interesting to see if this uptick in the quality of special makeup effects continues in subsequent episodes.

Silverman and Fernandes dominate the plot of “Faith Healer”

What Doesn’t Work…

It’s possible that your mileage on this episode will vary depending on your willingness to accept change. Although in many ways “Faith Healer” adopts the familiar plot beats of any other episode of the series, the diminished roles of Jack and (more specifically) Micki and Ryan does give make the episode stand out. Add in the extended climax that (literally) traps Jack in a closet so that the two guest stars can have a shoot-out and car chase and it’s clear that “Faith Healer” is less interested in the core cast than traditional episodes. This didn’t actually bother me, but it may rankle the feathers of purists.

Fishoff’s visually impressive death

Stream of Consciousness Musings

  • The opening sequence when Jerry debunks Fishoff (Fernandes) in front of a two-tiered audience feels very ceremonial and — dare I say it — cultish
  • Did anyone else think that the leather glove looks like a woman’s glove?
  • Initially it seems as though the glove has eaten away at Fishoff’s hand. It took me a few seconds to realize that the leather accessory had actually taken on the attributes of the illness itself
  • When Micki and Ryan first see Fishoff’s infomercial, it is revealed that there has been a significant time lapse (a minimum of six months) between the opening sequence and the present. This is a first for the series, which typically finds the crew investigating a crime shortly after it is committed
  • Remember when these kinds of infomercials were common fare on TV? That’s a blast from the past
  • Jack’s disbelief when he is kicked out by Fishoff’s staff is hilarious since he was attempting to break and enter. “What kind of man bends a man’s lockpicks?!” he bemoans in melodramatic fashion
  • There’s an interesting extreme long shot of Micki and Ryan waiting on the fire escape for Fishoff to sneak out of the back of his building. It is notable if only because it highlights how infrequently Friday The 13th pulls back to show bigger sets, which is an unfortunate by product of a restrictive budget (The outdoor fields in “Scarecrow” are another great example of “opening up” the filming space)
  • Who will take care of Porky the poodle after her poor owner is assaulted and killed by Fishoff in the alley?
  • According to Jerry’s claim, he’s debunked 400 “parasites” in 20 years. Who knew there were that many phoney faith healers kicking around in the late 80s?
  • Jerry’s cutdown of Jack is savage: “Is this where you try your magic top hat routine?” Way to tear down Jack’s interest in magic, Jerry!
  • There’s a time discrepancy when Jerry recalls that a year has passed since he exposed Fishoff as a fraud in the opening scene. So how much time has actually passed: six months or a year?
  • I either turned away for a moment or it’s not entirely clear, but it seems like Jerry and Jack are talking one moment and then Jack is tied up in the closet the next. It feels very abrupt
  • I appreciated that Fishoff mocks Jerry’s request to heal him. I truly had no idea why the televangelist would agree to help the man who publicly ruined him
  • The fact that Jerry winds up being a killer – of both Fishoff and his bodyguard – even before he lays hands on the glove makes him distinct from most of the killers on the series. Traditionally villains are compelled by a cursed antique. Here Jerry is just acting out of his own malicious intent
  • The logistics of Fishoff’s death are different from the others, but it is visually impressive to see him repeatedly shot out of nowhere when he fails to transfer his wounds to Jerry. I liked this death quite a bit
  • Intriguingly writer Christine Cornish lays the foundation for the next episode by having Micki reference a cape she thinks they should investigate
  • I’m glad that Jack verbally acknowledges his poor taste in friends because I had just made that observation in my notes. Between Jerry and Lewis (see episodes 1 and 5) Jack really should never trust another living person
  • Finally, is Micki’s cruel admonishment of Jack’s desire to leave behind the cursed object life a callback to his somewhat cutthroat comment about her own struggle back in “Root Of All Evil“?

See you back here tomorrow for Friday The 13th The Series episode thirteen: “The Baron’s Bride”. It looks like the halfway point of season one involves…time travel?!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLyKVN7zTCY

[Toronto After Dark 18] Prey Is A Silly, Delightful Creature Feature

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There’s something classic about a good old fashioned creature feature, particularly one that doesn’t involve some kind of mutation or require a natural weather phenomenon. In the wake of a glut of made-for-TV films, writer/director Dick Maas aims to resuscitate the subgenre with his 2016 film Prey (Prooi in its original Dutch) by infusing a sense of delirious fun with graphic carnage.

Set in the beautiful Dutch capital of Amsterdam, Prey concerns a large, carnivorous lion that is on the loose and liberally chowing down on people. The film’s cold open quickly and efficiently establishes the premise with the mysterious deaths of an entire family in their secluded house just outside of the city. Included in the death toll: a young girl, whose body is discovered some distance away after being dragged and partially eaten in a field. The ruthlessness of both the film and its central monster is telling; Maas, Prey and the lion kill characters indiscriminately, regardless of their sex, profession or age. In fact the film’s willingness to kill not just one, but several children over its 1 hour and 50 minute runtime alone makes it worthy of recommendation. If only North American horror films were so liberal with their child murder.

Following the initial attack, Prey introduces veterinarian Lizzy (Sophie van Winden). Maas scripts Lizzy’s first scene in a very telling fashion: she is seen sticking her hand into the stomach of a sedated crocodile while fending off sexual advances by her on-again, off-again boyfriend, cameraman and philanderer Dave (Julian Looman). Lizzy’s ability to keep calm and collected in tense and stressful circumstances – human and animal-related – serves her well throughout the film. (By comparison, her physical likeness to Naomi Watts alternates between endearing and distracting).

Lizzy is pulled into the investigation by Olaf Brinkers (Rienus Krul) because of her experience working not only with animals, but more specifically lions. Together they come up with a plan to help the police deal with the rapidly escalating attacks; plans which are derailed by Dave and reporter Maarten (Pieter Derks)’s press coverage, as well as by an inept and nepotistic police Chief. Eventually Lizzy’s ex, a skilled British hunter named Jack (Mark Frost), is also called in to help stop the creature.

Sophie van Winden

Prey doesn’t suffer from a particularly complicated plot. More often than not Maas knows how to balance his audacious attack scenes and his lighthearted, verging on rude comedy. This frequently works best when the latter is mixed into the former such as the scenes set at a golf course, on a very public tram and a children’s playground (all of which are standouts).

Unfortunately Maas also dedicates an egregious amount of time to Lizzy and Dave’s troubled relationship, which becomes even more complicated (but not more interesting) when Jack arrives on the scene. Lizzy is a headstrong, intelligent protagonist, but her “will they, won’t they” relationship with Dave and Jack is easily the film’s least interesting subplot. Every time Prey cuts to a scene where they discuss their personal affairs, it’s the cinematic equivalent of pumping the brakes. One gets the sense that Maas is concerned that without the personal plot line the film will be too slight (which may very well be true), but the alternative is a bloated film belaboured with pacing issues.

Thankfully there is enough gore, violence and laughs to sustain audiences through the plodding dramatic scenes. One particularly memorable sequence occurs well past the halfway point of the film and introduces an entirely new character that is a delightful hoot. Seizing on Lizzy’s recommendation that a hunter be hired, the Chief of police mistakenly calls upon his narcissistic cousin (accompanied by his twittering idiot nephew) to set a trap in the city’s famed Vondel Park. What happens to the pair is telegraphed early and is unsurprising in that regard, but the result is so well executed that the entire subplot winds up being both wildly entertaining and hilarious.

One of  Prey‘s greatest strengths is that Maas knows how to write and shoot action sequences. The attack sequences are never difficult to follow and Maas frequently adopts a point of view that suggests violence using sprays of blood and gory aftermaths. In this capacity, the attacks are more tense that terrifying and the aftermath makes frequent (and comedic) use of body parts. These practical make-up and prop effects are much more effective than the beast at the center of the chaos; sadly whenever the lion is seen for more than a few seconds it is exclusively in unconvincing CGI.

Poor digital effects and a plodding love triangle storyline aside, Prey is a highly entertaining film. Dick Maas has created a creature feature that is unashamedly full of dumb moments, offensive gore and rude comedy and it’s damn delightful. What more can you ask for from a giant lion flick?

3.5/5

Friday The 13th The Series Rewatch: S01E11 – “Gotta Break Her Before You Can Ride Her”

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Welcome to the Friday The 13th The Series rewatch. Each day throughout October, we’ll watch one episode of the seminal 1987 television series and tackle the highs, the lows and Micki’s hair (of course). Now step into Curious Goods and peruse our cursed antiques, won’t you?

https://youtu.be/eTKPWhPvmRE

S01E011: “Scarecrow”

Wikipedia Plot Summary: Micki (Louise Robey) and Ryan (John D. LeMay) head to a small farming town where three people turn up dead each harvest. While investigating, Ryan becomes attached to a young boy Jordy (Nicolas Van Burek) who witnessed his father’s death.

  • Director: Pilot helmer William Fruet makes his Friday return
  • Writer: Marc Scott Zicree (“Doctor Jack” and “Tales Of The Undead“) is credited for the teleplay
  • Famous Guest Star: Patricia Phillips would go on to War Of The Worlds and the first episode of Alias Grace

Scarecrow as villain…but it’s not really a haunted object

Cursed Antique of the Week: A scarecrow that promises a good Harvest once it has decapitated three victims

Setting: A small farming town (I definitely missed the name)

Best Death: After confronting Marge (Phillips) about murdering his entire family, Charlie (James B. Douglas) is hooked in the back and hung from the barn ceiling with a plethora of scarecrows

Quirkiest Add-On: This is the second Jack/Chris Wiggins-free episode of the series, though at least this time there’s a postcard that reveals that he is tracking down something called “the Icarus Feather”

Character Bits: Ryan reveals – via a triggering baseball that Micki literally throws at him – that his brother was hit and killed by a truck when Ryan was nine

Corny Finish Line: There’s no specific corny line, but it’s a little silly when the scarecrow stand falls over in the field at episode’s end

80s Fashion Closet: What’s more offensive: Ryan’s wannabe Sherlock Holmes hat or Micki’s corset belt that closes with the help of a vertical line of GIANT safety pins? And no, I can’t talk about her gaudy gold bracelet or her terrible black headband

Kissing Cousins Incest Watch: There’s too much screaming for incest

Beware of scarecrows hiding under the covers

What Works…

I have to say that when the episode began, I wasn’t really feeling it. The scarecrow design wasn’t straw-based enough, Marge is revealed to be the killer immediately and Jack is still MIA.

Then Trudy Cobean (Norma Edwards) gets a chase scene that sees her basically decapitated right in front of Micki. It’s gruesome. And threatening. And things just get better from there.

All of the sudden we’ve got character development in the form of Ryan’s never before mentioned brother. There’s an actual Sheriff (Steve Pernie) involved in the proceedings and he even has a role to play. Marge commits a weird sexualized murder in a barn and then hoist an adult male’s dead body up into the rafters (bonus points for all of the hanging scarecrows, which is a legitimately creepy sight).

And that’s all before we even get to the final fight sequence at the inn. That’s when everything gets dialled up to 11. The scarecrow pops out from under the covers like Jason Voorhees. The Sheriff is full-on stabbed by a giant pair of scissors. Ryan jump kicks (!!!) the scissors out of Marge’s hands while she holds Jordy (Nicolas Van Burek) at knifepoint and she later kicks him so hard that he falls and breaks her foyer table. Micki escapes her locked room using the Kool-Aid Man technique of crashing through the door. She and Ryan then take turns jumping on the scarecrow and getting spun off like a Disneyland teacup ride! And the whole time everyone – Charlie, Micki, Marge, Ryan and Jordy – are screaming their fucking heads off.

A lot of the credit has to go to William Fruet’s direction; he really makes the episode scary and atmospheric. The scene when the scarecrow chases Micki through the overgrown derelict field at dusk is so startlingly reminiscent of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre that I audibly gasped. It’s gorgeous and perfectly edited and, most significantly, it feels dangerous, which is something that the series rarely, if ever, captures when one of its leads is in danger.

Overall “Scarecrow” is AMAZING. I lived (and died) for this episode. It’s a season best as far as I’m concerned.

Poor Micki is in danger again

What Doesn’t Work…

I mean, I can quibble that this is just another episode where Micki is in danger, but she and Ryan hold their own so well in that final battle that it feels disingenuous to complain.

Maaaaybe they should have identified Marge as the homicidal killer sooner? She acts like a complete psycho the entire episode, but I suppose if you didn’t really know what you’re looking for, perhaps you would be able to excuse her odd behaviour?

Oh and the scarecrow isn’t technically a cursed antique, so this episode doesn’t actually have one.

Poor dumb Charlie never stood a chance

Stream of Consciousness Musings

  • I love how the episode opens with Jordy’s father casually raising the terrors of capitalism by cheerfully boasting that they’ll be nearly destitute when they pay off all of their bills
  • Direct quote from my notes: “Why is Ryan wearing a Sherlock hat?” But seriously: what’s with the hat?
  • The initial attack on Micki by Nick (Todd Duckworth) is a good misdirect. It’s a touch unclear if he’s actually committing the murders before he is shot to death by the Sheriff later, or if it was always a supernatural being and Marge just dressed Nick up as a fall guy
  • Not unlike the last episode, Marge’s cheerful/creepy description of her inn as the sole option in town immediately labels her the town loon, if not its psycho killer. Maybe tone it down a touch Marge?
  • I’m still unsure why so many of the murders on this series (in general) feel like they were intended for 3D. Here the scarecrow’s chase of Trudy features several scythe-swipes directly at the camera
  • For a hot second I was worried that Ryan and the Sheriff wouldn’t believe Micki’s story about seeing Trudy’s body. Luckily this isn’t one of those “no one believes me” cases: Ryan and the Sheriff not only see the body, they both believe Micki about the scarecrow (to varying degrees, obviously, since the Sheriff hasn’t spend the last few months collecting cursed antiques like Ryan has)
  • Another direct quote from my notes — this time with regards to Micki’s outfit: “WTF Micki – you’re in the country! Dress appropriately”
  • The old dude that spouts off exposition about the Cobean family sure is a character. Bring him back for another guest spot because that guy had character actor written all over him. I particularly liked his sly wink at his friends, which captures his disdain for the idiot big city kids who overpay him for an antique water pump
  • The rewatch title comes courtesy of Marge, who delivers the most vulgar and ick-inducing line of the episode when she eggs Nick on by suggesting that he has to “break [Micki] before you can ride her. Break her good!” Excuse me while I shower off the grottiness
  • Jordy and Ryan’s tussle continues the Friday The 13th The Series tradition of kids knocking over able-bodied adults with little to no effort (You’ll remember it began back in episode four “A Cup Of Time“)
  • I’m unsure why Micki finds a basket of rotten peppers? Or are those meant to be apples?
  • Between the scarecrow mask that looks like human flesh and that chase scene in the field, I seriously got TTCM vibes
  • Sheriff Comins is my kind of guy. After shooting Nick dead, Comins deadpans Charlie’s loss: “Man lost his whole family in one night”, then immediately takes a big swig of booze from his flask
    • He also has a hilariously Canadian accent. Listen for the “eh!”
  • Even knowing that Ryan feels a kinship to Jordy because of his brother, his familial instinct feels odd considering that the writers typically present Ryan as childlike
  • The single oddest part of this episode is when Marge leans in to pretend to kiss Charlie to get close enough to kill him and he goes for it. His wife and son were just murdered in the last 24 hrs and the dude is macking on the woman he knows killed them. It’s so bizarre…
  • …but I do love that wail he lets out when he goes down
  • Fruet does a great job building up to the reveal of Charlie’s body hanging from the rafters. The slow pan across all of the hanging scarecrows (creepy), followed by the pool of dripping blood, then the slow tilt up from Ryan’s POV to reveal the body. It’s very much like a slasher movie
  • Of course Micki mistakes the Sheriff for the killer because, like I Know What You Did Last Summer, everyone in this dumb town has the same fucking black slicker
  • Could Marge be more creepy when she tells Micki “I’ll take care of EVERYTHING”. Way to telegraph your villain status lady
  • All of the commotion from the moment that the scarecrow sits up in bed to the point that Marge is decapitated = chef’s kiss. Just so much batshit craziness. Totally loved it
  • Finally, do you think the dog (goat?) chasing after Micki and Ryan’s car as they drive out of town was planned or just a fun, weird visual that Fruet decided to keep in for shits and giggles?

See you back here tomorrow for Friday The 13th The Series episode twelve: “Faith Healer”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FMrSZ9Nc0Y